Now I can't get that flow of words started. Doesn't that figure.
It had to do with the new ABC Family show, "Huge", which is set in a fat camp. The stars are fat teenagers - beautiful, talented, smart teenagers who would only show up in more typical teen fare for comic effect. On "Huge", they're allowed to be themselves. I love it.
For one thing, it's telling my story. I was a fat child, a fat teenager, and now I'm a fat adult. When I was 17, my parents made me go to fat camp. My parents and my grandparents could never see the smart and talented girl I really was - when they looked at me, all they could see was the fat. I had a lot of musical talent. I often wonder what I might have become if they had sent me to a music camp instead. At least I might have believed in myself more than I do.
Will (for Willamina), the main character, has parents just like mine. They made her go to fat camp. In the second episode, she tries to write a letter home to them. I copied out the text, because I could have written it myself:
Dear Mom and Dad,
A crazy thing happened today. I, your daughter, played basketball. And I liked it. And I actually scored. But you’re never going to know that. I can’t tell you what’s good about this place, because you’ll just pat yourselves on the back, like, “Didn’t I tell you she’d love camp?” And you’d feel totally justified for making me come here. And it’s not that simple.
I can’t forget that you sent me here, that I’m not good enough for you. You tell me all the time, when you comment on how my shirts don’t fit, or exchange little looks when I reach for dessert. I try not to care. But it hurts. It hurts. And I’ll never say that to you either.
At that point, she tears the letter up. I wouldn't have mailed it, either.
The show is full of moments like that, scenes I recognize from my own childhood, from my own time at fat camp. Take Amber, for example; she's the beautiful blonde girl who really isn't fat at all. We had a tall beautiful blonde girl, too. She was striking. Once she borrowed a dress of mine; on me, it went down to my knee, but on her it came to the middle of her thigh. She walked down the main street of Hyannis and practically stopped traffic. All the men couldn't keep their eyes off her, she looked that good. I never looked that good in that dress.
We didn't have boys at our camp. They were at a separate camp a short distance away, and none of them were as old as I was. So I missed out on the whole social aspect, which I think would have been good for me. I would have loved to meet a guy like Ian, and Alistair always makes me laugh. I like Dante, too. I'm the mother of two gorgeous fat sons, both in their 20s now, and it would be great if they could learn that girls (women, I guess, now that they're grown up) can love them the way they are. I tell them that, but they're like, "Oh, Mom, of course you'd say that, you're my mom." Neither of them dates. They should. Any girl would be lucky to have one of them. Yeah, I know, I'm their mom, of course I'd say that. But it's true.
One of my favorite characters in "Huge" is Becca. She started out quiet and had trouble speaking up for herself. But she's really coming into her own. In this week's episode, she danced in the talent show while Dante rapped "Baby's Got Back." It was supposed to be totally improvised (they were filling in for Trent and Chloe, who were making out backstage). It was great.
There's the drill sergeant, Shay (Shea?), who I'm sure is supposed to resemble Jillian Michaels from "The Biggest Loser". She's brutal. In this week's episode, it bothered her that the food at camp tasted good. She didn't think it could possible help the campers lose weight. The unspoken message was that only food that tastes bad can be good for you. Uh huh, I've heard that one before.
I hope I'll be able to write down more thoughts on "Huge". Right now, I'm going to go do something else.
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