Another new year? Slow down!

When an old year ends and a new one begins, I have often written a summary of the previous year and/or a list of hopes or goals for the new year. In 2010 I reached a milestone, one of those birthdays with a zero on the end (I'm a very youthful 60), and now it seems as if all those years are zooming by so fast that I barely have time to write about one before the next one is colliding with it. 2011? Really? I'm not done with 2009 yet!

2010 started out with my daughter becoming engaged to her long-time boyfriend. (He proposed on December 31, 2009. It was very romantic, based on the pictures he put up on Facebook.) A lot of 2010 was filled with planning the wedding, to be held this March. For the most part, this has been a positive experience. But the fact that I am not exactly amicably divorced from her father has caused a little stress for both her and me. I wish I knew how to fix this.

During 2010, I didn't have a single date. I didn't flirt with any guys. I didn't even have a pleasant conversation with an eligible man (for me, that means single, in my age bracket, and employed). All the men I know are married or gay (or possibly both, this being Massachusetts). I just wish I had a male friend to go out with from time to time. I have no desire to get married again. I took down my personal ads after meeting too many unemployed guys who were only looking for somebody to sponge off of or lure into bed.

During 2010, though, I did go on vacation twice. In June my sons included me in their week at their father's family summer cottage on the shore of a lake in New Hampshire. I'd been there many times over the 24 years I was with their father, and I was glad to get a chance to go back without him. We brought my two cats. The older one, Peaches, had been there a few times before, back in the late 90's. I couldn't tell if he remembered it. The younger cat, Zoe, fell in love with the screened-in porch, where she could chatter at chipmunks and birds to her heart's content.

In August, I spent a week in South Harwich, Cape Cod. I blogged about it while I was there, so I don't have to talk about it now. I still want to retire to the Cape someday. No, that's not quite true: What I really want is to be rich enough to own property there and in the Boston area, and split my time between the houses. That's what daydreams are for.

It's hard to come up with any more positives. I didn't finish NaNoWriMo this year (after 4 wins) because I chose a very dark subject matter (The Apocalypse in Boston!) and writing about it was draining. Besides, my daughter and her fiancé were here for a week, and we were busy with wedding-related things.

I played Antidepressant Roulette for too long, starting in August of 2009 and still continuing today. After I decided I'd had enough of the Crazy Pill Lady in December 2009, it took me several months to learn that there was nobody else in that practice who would see me. (Long story. I hear the Crazy Pill Lady lost her job, so apparently I wasn't the only one she misdiagnosed.) I went to my Primary Care doctor, and she referred me to another agency. They assigned me to a psychiatrist who retired six months later. Then they placed me with somebody else. He's got me on Celexa, which I started right before Thanksgiving. I have no idea how well it's working. I'm very high-functioning anyway, so getting through the holidays could have been just a coincidence. I figure I'll know how successful I've been when I finally get asked out on a date again. By an employed single guy in my age bracket. Sigh.

My mom is getting older, just like me. She's 86, and has a hip that badly needs replacing, and needs to be in assisted living. Most of the burden of her care falls on my sister, who lives nearby. I just feel guilty. The hip replacement is scheduled for the end of this month. Assisted living is sure to follow. My sister has found a place for her. They'll even let her keep her cat.

So, 2011 has major changes in store for my family: My daughter's wedding, my mother's surgery and her move to assisted living. As for me? I just hope to be able to get through it all.