Coexist?

Yesterday as I was driving home from work I passed a parked car with that "Coexist" bumper sticker I've been seeing around for years - the one where all the letters are represented by religious or other symbols. "Hmpf, a Unitarian," I thought with a smile. I was brought up Unitarian-Universalist, and I still have a soft spot in my heart for them. I agree with the message of people of different religions getting along with each other. Hmm, I thought, I could put one on my car (which, being brand new and leased, is currently unadorned with anything representing me or my thoughts, or where I or my kids went to college, or which sports team I cheer for). I was surprised to find out that the idea left me cold.

I wouldn't put a "Coexist" bumper sticker on my car, or, for that matter, wear a "Coexist" t-shirt, because the concept of coexistence is too isolating for me. Let me explain.

I looked up "coexist" in the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, and it told me that it means:

1. to exist together at the same time
2. to live in peace with each other especially as a matter of policy

Nothing wrong with that, right? Well, it's not all that different from the way I am right now, where I live beside my neighbors but rarely exchange a word with them. I ride the subway every day, crowded in beside people who remain strangers even as we stand pressed intimately together. I attend church on Sundays without revealing very much of myself. I'm not a member, and nobody has asked me to join. What does that mean? I'm not sure, but it sounds a lot like coexistence to me.

I think of myself as coexisting with my type 2 diabetes. It's there, but it doesn't define me. My artificial left knee, too. Most of the time I go about my life without allowing it to hold me back.

Every Friday there is a Muslim religious service in the classroom next door to my office. I've gotten to know the imam a little; we say hello and exchange a few pleasantries when we see each other. Yesterday I asked him if it was still snowing outside. (It wasn't.) That's closer to harmony than mere coexistence. If I were simply coexisting with my Muslim neighbors, I might just shut my office door and pretend they weren't there. (They do have a tendency to stand in the hall and chat after the service.)

The religious symbols on the most common of the "Coexist" bumper stickers are:

• C: a crescent moon and star, to represent Islam
• O: a peace sign
• E: representing a male/female symbol, but not very well since it has to remain open
  
• X: a star of David to represent Jewish people
  
• I: it's dotted with a pentagram in a circle, to represent Wiccans and pagans
• S: it's woven into a yin-yang sign, for Taoism
• T: It's a cross, to represent Christianity

There are many other versions, some of which are better than others. I found one made up of computer-company symbols - at least it started with Apple and ended with Windows. I'm not sure what the other ones are, and neither is the company selling the t-shirt. There's one in which the O is a pentagram, the "e"=mc², and the I is dotted with a mandala for the Buddhists.

Anyway, I think I'd rather have one that says "Harmony." I found one online that says "Live in Peace & Harmony" where the H was a cross and a matching stick that I don't recognize, the A was the Star of David, the R was based on the Unitarian chalice (of course!), the M was humped over a nine-pointed star (Baha'i?) and a pentagram, the O was a peace sign, and the Y was a dove. I'm not sure what the N was supposed to represent, and I can't find an explanation online. The ampersand was the Om character for Hinduism.

I think I am the most comfortable and truly myself when I am singing with other people in harmony. That's why the concept of living in harmony with my neighbors, rather than simply coexisting, means so much more to me.