Awhile back, I took down all my personal ads. (or at least all that I can remember putting up. I probably have a couple on obscure websites I've forgotten about.) Why? Because I wasn't meeting the right kind of guy, mostly. I was tired of the crazies, the volatile ones who would talk to me online and then vanish if I didn't say or do exactly the right thing. I never met any of these guys, fortunately - and there were a string of them.
And the guys I did meet! One of the last dates I had was with a guy who sneered at me when I told him I'd like to remain just friends. "I have enough friends," he said witheringly. Yeah, he was a jerk. But he was typical of the kinds of guys I was meeting through the various online sites. That's when I gave up on online dating. It was January 2004. I haven't had a date since.
What I'd like to say in a personal ad:
No smokers, no SUV-owners, no drug- or alcohol-abusers, no cat-haters, no Yankees fans. Must be employed. (I dated a couple of unemployed leeches who were looking for a woman to sponge off of.) I'd prefer a divorced guy with kids. Must pay attention to personal hygiene. I'd prefer somebody who doesn't drown himself in cologne - I like a light, pleasant cologne, but I've known guys whose scent lingers after they leave a room. Must be intelligent and enjoy conversations more than arguments. Must have a sense of humor and be able to laugh at himself. Must be liberal in politics and religion. Non-religious is fine. (I'd like to put myself into the "spiritual but not religious" category, but these days I'm not even especially spiritual.) Must be looking for an equal partner. No one-night stands.
And what would a guy get if he dated me? Well, I'm middle-aged, middle-class, divorced, and overweight. Cute, though, and smart, and good company. I'm looking for an equal partner, not somebody to support me financially. Emotional support is always welcome! I haven't even gotten into what we might have in common - a fondness for reading, especially sci-fi; love of all kinds of music; things like that. I don't want somebody just like me - that'd be boring. I'd like somebody who I could learn from, and who would be happy to learn new things from me.
And that's why I don't put up an ad. Too many negatives, too specific, I don't know. I'm painfully honest and won't lie about my age and weight just to get attention. Yeah, I'm old and fat. Deal with it. I look, feel and think like a much younger person, so there!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment