AUGUR vs AUGER

I want to write a blog that people look forward to reading, one that gets bookmarked and linked to and shared. I think about something I want to discuss.. Then, instead of writing about it, I play another game of spider solitaire on the computer so that I can think about it some more. How's that working out for me? Not so well.

Bad grammar and incorrect word usage bothers me. I've managed to pass at least some of this on to my children. When we watch TV together, we all shout "ly" at the TV when somebody leaves the -ly off an adverb. Example: Somebody on TV says "Wow, I did bad." "Ly", I'll add. I thought this trait had skipped my daughter (the most normal of my three children), but I recently found out she does it, too. It made me happy.

So today's Grammar Rant is about AUGUR vs. AUGER.

AUGUR, as a verb, means, according to Merriam-Webster, to foretell (or to predict the future) especially from omen. AUGER, on the other hand, is a sharp tool that is used chiefly for making holes. So, when I recently read in a book "This augers well," what the author was trying to say was that it was a good omen for the future. What they in fact said was that it drilled holes well.

This kind of word misuse is just poor editing, in my opinion. It's the kind of error that stands out to me, but might easily be missed.

I also have a collection of typos that made it through spell checks because they actually spell another word. A medical student wrote a report of a patient encounter in which she complained of "irritable bowl syndrome". This still makes me laugh. Then there was the grant proposal they asked me to edit in which the "faculty" had been called "faulty". Just one letter different, but what a difference in meaning!

Old, Fat and Unashamed

I enjoy reading fat-positive blogs, the ones that encourage women like me to accept ourselves and love ourselves the way we are. There are quite a few of them. As far as I can tell, though, they're all written by young women. I couldn't find a blog encouraging old, fat women to accept themselves. If there are any out there, I'd like to know about them. At the moment, though, I believe I'm unique, maybe even a trendsetter.

Because that's what I'm trying to do with this latest incarnation of my blog: learn to accept myself the way I am - old and fat - and not to see either of these qualities as a failing or drawback. I'd like to believe that I can be beautiful and attractive even at this age and size.

A thought on my previous entry (Cosplay): I could dress up as Ursula, the villainess in The Little Mermaid. I read recently that the character was based on Divine, the old drag queen who was in the original version of Hairspray.

Meanwhile, I am trying to move to a new city. I've been trying halfheartedly for over a year, but have been thwarted by the amount of clutter in my house. Last Christmas we rented a storage locker and the kids and I have moved some of the clutter there. A lot of it came from my mother's house, and I'm not ready to part with it.

I decided over the weekend that I've had enough. The house is going to have to go on the market as it is. The realtors who have looked at it haven't been thrilled by it - it's a small, 100+-year-old house that needs a new kitchen. But it's got hardwood floors, central air conditioning, a wide staircase and a good-sized bathroom, and it's in a good neighborhood in the bad city where I live. Also, I want to sell it cheaply, as long as I make more selling it than I paid for it.

How do I get pre-approved for a mortgage when I already have one? I don't plan to hold them both at the same time, but for some reason, the fact that I currently carry a mortgage doesn't make me eligible to get a new one.

Every day I want to do some small thing to make the house ready to sell. Yesterday I lugged the vacuum cleaner into the cellar and vacuumed up spider webs until the vacuum cleaner bag was full. I also threw out or recycled a bunch of old boxes that I was saving for no reason - just a habit, learned at my mother's knee, never to throw anything out if it might be useful later on.

I want either a small house or a condo in a residential area, close to public transportation and shops and restaurants. I want more space than I currently have (or at least more storage space). I want a dishwasher. I haven't had a working dishwasher in over 20 years. I'm sick of doing them by hand. I want natural gas heat and I'd love central air conditioning. I need two off-street parking spaces (my younger son lives with me). If it's a condo, the association needs to allow both of our cats. And I don't want to pay a lot. I don't ask much, do I?

Old Fat Lady Cosplay?

My goal with this phase of my blog is to inspire myself to live again, and not to give up just because I'm getting old. There were some things I hoped to accomplish in my life that I have not yet accomplished, and I feel myself wanting to give up. Will I ever write a novel that gets published? Will I ever travel outside of the United States and Canada? Will I ever attract another man?

I didn't go to the tattoo convention. When I read the website, I decided the convention wasn't really aimed at gawkers (although I'm sure it attracted a few). So I'll keep watching tattoo shows on TV and see what I can learn.

I've been watching a show on Syfy called "Heroes of Cosplay". "Cosplay" is a blend of "costume" and "play"; it's dressing up as a character (usually from a video game or a geeky movie) for any one of a number of conventions. I'd love to do it, but the show makes clear that old, fat women would not be welcome. One of the young women kept raving about how much weight she had gained and how she could only play the fat version of a character. She played Merida from Brave because Merida (an animated character) is curvy. This woman is NOT fat, incidentally. If there were any old, fat women in costume dramas or video games, I'm sure I'd be welcome to dress up as one of them.

I'd love to go to King Richard's Faire (our local Renaissance fair) in costume, but I don't have anybody who would go with me if I did. The kids would be embarrassed - and I'm pretty sure all of them also want to go in costume, but don't have the courage. I bought a cape last year, and I plan to wear it when we go this year. That's as close to a costume as I'm likely to get.

I'm a MythBusters fan, and this past weekend Jamie and Adam were at DragonCon. Adam dressed up as Jack Sparrow, and he looked amazing. (Jamie, true to character, dressed up as himself.) It just makes me wish I could try a costume.

My sons were at PAX Prime in Seattle, and PAX also attracts cosplayers. Once again, I really wish I had the courage. I will go to PAX East if I can next spring here in Boston, but I don't see myself going in costume at this point.