Dancing With The - What, Now?

I'm not a regular viewer of "Dancing with the Stars". So far, I seem to have only watched seasons in which Olympic skaters were dancing - the first season I watched had Apolo Anton Ohno (he won), the second Kristi Yamaguchi (she won, too), and the third Evan Lysacek (he didn't). I'll admit, I love to watch any ice skating event the Olympics has to offer. Evan's season was the most recent season. They had some questionable "stars" on then, too - Kate Gosselin?! "The Bachelor" Jake Pavelka?! Anyway, I had heard a few rumors about who might be on the show this season, and I'll admit I was a little curious.

Not curious enough to watch "Bachelor Pad", though, where the DWTS "stars" were announced last night. So I didn't find out who was actually going to be on the show until this morning. And now I know for sure that "Stars" should be replaced with "Z-Listers, Has-Beens, and the Truly Infamous."

Let's start with Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, from that train-wreck of a show "Jersey Shore". He thinks he's a star, but he's not - he's a sickening joke. I resent that they validated his inflated view of himself by asking him to be on this show. Harrumph. Truly Infamous.

Then there's Bristol Palin, most famous for having a baby out of wedlock. Being the daughter of a politician doesn't make her a star. She has no more right to be on that show than Kate Gosselin did. Somewhere between Z-Lister and Truly Infamous.

David Hasselhoff falls squarely into the "Has-Been" category. They should have asked his beautiful daughter, Hayley, who has been so entertaining in "Huge" this season.

Florence Henderson? Mom to the Brady Bunch? Has-Been. This season's Cloris Leachman. (oops, I must have watched another season if I remember Cloris - was there a skater on then?)

Michael Bolton?! Oh my effing Gawd! I used to love him in about 1990. Definitely a Has-Been.

There are the obligatory sports stars, who are completely unfamiliar to me. Rick Fox, a retired LA Laker, and Kurt Warner, "retired NFL quarterback" (which tells me nothing. He didn't play for the Patriots, so I never heard of him.)

Singer Brandy Norwood is going to be on. She's sort of a star, I guess. I used to love her on "Moesha" (a show my daughter loved back in the 90's).

I'm not sure who Audrina Patridge is, either. I never watched "The Hills", I'm happy to say.

I'll give Margaret Cho credit for being a current star. And maybe Jennifer Grey, who is at least still on TV. I never heard of Kyle Massey, but that's because he's on "That's So Raven", and I don't have any tweener daughters any more.

So am I going to watch this season? Oh, probably, at least at the beginning. I want to watch The Situation make a fool of himself.