Christmas from a deep hole

This is a very difficult time of year for people who are isolated by depression and loneliness. Every time you look at a newspaper, a magazine, or a commercial on TV, you see another happy family celebrating together, making cookies, baking bread, wrapping presents, maybe healing old wounds. You see people coming home or visiting each other. You see friends hugging each other. You see huge smiles as presents are exchanged.

And then I look at the empty room around me. I look at the wall where I would put up any Christmas cards I received. It's empty. So far, the only card I've got came from the person who delivers my newspaper, a total stranger hoping for a large tip.

I stopped sending Christmas cards a few years ago because there was never anything exciting to report about my life. My kids are grown, so I can't hide behind their achievements any more. And writing about what I do just was too - well, depressing. Still single, with no hope of that ever changing. Still struggling from paycheck to paycheck. Another year closer to the end, with no hope of ever getting that warm, friendly Christmas I can't avoid seeing everywhere else.

I miss receiving Christmas cards. The bright-colored pictures, the friendly notes, all make the house that much warmer and less of a lonely place. When I was a kid, my parents sent out over 100 Christmas cards, and got at least that many back. My mom hung them from ribbons strung on the wall behind the dining room table. (She still does.) As an adult, I never received anywhere near that many. I thought it was a personal failure, but maybe it's just a sign of the changing times.

At church there's a bulletin board where you can hang a single card, then donate the rest of what you would have spent. Maybe I'm miserly, but I'd rather have a card hanging in my living room where I can look at it and know that somebody was thinking of me. For a depressive, the little things are important. It'd be a warm glow in an otherwise shadowed and dark place.

Originally I wanted to write this as a short paragraph for a Facebook status update, but I ran over the character limit. If anybody reads this and would like to exchange cards with me, it could make my Christmas a little less empty and lonely. Right now I have no hope for the future. People keep telling me it has to come from within myself. But a Christmas card could help me find it there.

The Amazing Race kicks off

The Amazing Race kicked off again last night. I love that show. It gives me a peek into a world tour, with some totally bizarre local customs, things I'd never see otherwise, featured. This year there's a couple from the Boston area, Lance and Keri. I think they were told to use a Boston accent when they gave their brief intros, because I haven't heard it intrude into any of their speech since. They're a little annoying. There are a couple of Harlem Globetrotters, Flight Time and Big Easy, two very likable guys. There are the gay brothers, the poker-playing girls (who lied and said they worked with the homeless), the older couple (the woman is a little hyper), the super-pure Christian types, a guy with Asperger's syndrome and his friend, a former Miss America and her husband...and already two couples have been eliminated. I'm relieved the yoga instructors were the first to go. Every time that guy Eric opened his mouth I wanted to scream. He was so smug. When they lost, he said, ''To be the first team eliminated, now the shame, the pain is gone for everybody else. We took a beating for everybody.'' AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaa!!!!!

The first stop on the tour was Tokyo, Japan, where they competed in a game show. I already knew Japanese game shows were odd (that human Tetris one, where contestants had to fit through shapes that were moving towards them, for example), so the wasabi-bomb game didn't seem that far out of the ordinary. One of each pair of contestants had to eat a large amount of wasabi spread on rice and wrapped in what I assume was seaweed. I'm not a huge fan of sushi, or I'd be able to remember what they call that stuff. Nori? My older son would know. (So did Google - it's nori.) I can only consume a small dab of wasabi, though, and was surprised that the contestants managed to gobble down such a large amount without passing out.

My younger son was watching the show with me, and he had just played a video game set in the Shibuya area of Tokyo, where the contestants were seen walking. Wikipedia lists two Nintendo DS games set in this area. I'd ask him, but he's at work. (AT LAST! He finally got a job last week.) (It's at Staples and doesn't pay much, but there's opportunity for advancement.)

The first lap of the show was a non-elimination round, not a surprise, I guess, since they'd already eliminated somebody at the beginning of the show. The poker-playing liars women came in last after losing two of the 20 people they were supposed to have escorted to the pit stop. I would have been delighted to see them go, but no, we're stuck with them for a little longer. Oh, well, at least they're entertaining, and their lies aren't going to hold up for long - a Japanese poker fan recognized them.

The teams went on to Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam. Here they had to spread mud around fruit trees (supposedly it would help them to grow) and one team member had to herd ducks. A couple of people remarked that after that they were planning to eat duck for supper. I can imagine...Anyway, Garrett and Jessica were eliminated. They hadn't made much of an impression on me yet, so I don't have much to say about it.

I might end up blogging this show the way I do American Idol. We'll see how I feel next week.

So You Think You Can Dance

Last night I attended the live performance of the Season 5 top 12 dancers of So You Think You Can Dance. For anyone who isn't sure what this is, it's a TV reality show where dancers compete, and it's addictive. The tour came through Boston last night, and I bought cheap seats.

That may have been a mistake. My seats were on the floor at the Agganis Arena, which is designed for basketball and hockey. I couldn't see a thing except for what was on the Jumbotrons. Every time I looked towards the stage, spotlights shone in my eyes.

I dragged my younger son along (he had watched the season along with me this past summer). He's a big person, and I'm a big person, and the seats were the portable ones which, while padded, were designed for easy storage rather than comfort. Before the show, I bought a t-shirt, black, with the tour stops listed on the back and all of the dancers pictured on the front. I put it right on over the shirt I'd worn to work. I was wearing a long purple skirt, so I'm sure I looked ridiculous, but I didn't care.

We were surrounded by tweener girls. The five girls in the row in front of us looked like sisters. During the intermission, the older woman with them (Mom, I assume), bought them all t-shirts (the same one I had already bought for myself) and posed them for pictures. Oh, by the way, it said on the tickets that cameras were prohibited. Odd, everybody seemed to have them anyway. One of these girls yelled "I love you, Jeanine!" at a very quiet moment. (Jeanine is the dancer who won the competition this year.) I think the girl was more pleased than embarrassed, and I'm sure Jeanine didn't mind, either.

I'm not sure how many girls there were behind us - four or five, anyway. One of them kept yelling "I love you, Kupono!" He's the hot Hawaiian dancer. She has good taste.

The woman sitting next to me kept standing up because she couldn't see. After somebody behind us told her to sit down, she and her daughter left. I suspect they went upstairs to find some standing room with a view. One of the little girls from behind me came up and sat on the back of the seat at the end of the row. Nobody yelled at her to get down; maybe she wasn't blocking anybody's view. After awhile, I moved into the empty seat between us (where the woman had been) and found I could see a little better. I caught a few glimpses of the dancers. When I tried to take a picture with my phone, all I could see was bright lights, though.

The show was great. They did all of the best routines from the season - the one where Evan couldn't keep his eyes off Randi's ass, the Bollywood routine danced by Jason and Caitlin, the addiction piece danced by Kupono and Kayla, and my personal favorite, the breast-cancer dance done by Melissa and Ade. You can't watch this without choking up. At least I can't, and last night was no exception. When Phillip (the "popper", an untrained dancer who was tremendously appealing) did his solo routine, he got a standing ovation with the loudest cheering of the night. And there was a running gag involving Phillip, Jeanine, and the Russian folk dance that was one of the most poorly received dances of the season. They kept coming on stage and trying to perform the dance, and the other dancers kept chasing them off. Once they came on in some kind of medical scrubs, pushing a gurney (a prop for the next routine) which turned out to have the boom box with their music for the dance on it. Finally, towards the end, all the dancers ended up doing the Russian folk dance together.

After the show, we walked to Kenmore Square because there were so many people already waiting for the subway up by the Arena. When we got there, there was a mostly empty car on a train that was going all the way to North Station (so many Green Line trains stop at Park Street or Government Center, and we have to change for the Orange Line, which you can only do at Haymarket or North Station). We sat near some people who had also been at the show - we compared t-shirts.

It was after midnight by the time we got home. This morning I let myself rest until almost 6 instead of getting up at 5:30 as I usually do. I'm still a little out of it today. But it was worth it. I can never make myself do anything that takes me out of my comfort zone - like going out on a weeknight. This time, I went ahead and did something.

In the Dark

Last night, I was settling in to watch "More to Love" (a guilty pleasure; I wouldn't even set the DVR to record it) when the power went out.

It was around 8:30 on a beautiful evening, warm and pleasant. Most of our power failures are weather-related, but that wasn't the case here. I looked out the window, and all the houses on my street were out. I decided to go out and walk around a little, to see if I could figure out how widespread the power failure was. Even though I tried to see where my cat Peaches was before I opened the door, he managed to bolt out. What can I say? It was dark. He immediately dashed across the street. My son started to chase him, but soon gave it up. Stupid cat.

The sky was still glowing with light pollution. The clouds appeared illuminated. But there were no lights in the houses for as far as I could see. A lot of the neighbors came out into the street to see what was going on. I think it's funny; I hardly know my neighbors, I only see them when something like this happens. And, of course, it was dark, so I couldn't see them very well even then.

Back inside, I dug out some candles and my cheap glass candlesticks, and my son and I illuminated the house with candlelight. It wasn't quite enough to read by, but it was pleasant. My son commented that he had wondered about how people in the past, before electricity, could really see after dark; he didn't think candles would provide enough light. But they did.

Eventually Peaches came home. I was relieved. He was clearly pleased with himself, to pull one over on us like that. Stupid cat, to cause us unnecessary worry.

I've lived in this house for six years, and I don't remember any power failure lasting longer than half an hour. This one lasted two and a half hours. I went to bed about an hour and a half into it. I had to brush my teeth by candlelight. I woke up again when the lights came back on (and not just because my son cheered).

So it wasn't until this morning that I found out how "More to Love" had come out. Really, I just watched it for the fashions! But Luke (the bachelor, who resembles my younger son and at 26 is really too young to be getting married) asked Tali, the beautiful Israeli girl and my favorite among the finalists, to marry him. I wonder how it'll all turn out. Will they really get married? Or will it be like every other Bachelor/ Bachelorette show ever recorded? (Except the first Bachelorette, I guess; they got married, and they're still married. I never really watched any of them.) Will anybody ever do an article on where the contestants bought their beautiful clothing? I've been looking for a new sundress all summer, and there were several I would gladly buy as long as they weren't too expensive.

Daily entry

Yesterday I wrote on a different blog. Does that count? Of course it does, if I say so. It's not as if I had a huge audience here (or at the other location either, for that matter). I wish I did...but then I'd have to come up with something interesting to say, every day. Which I also wish I did. I've got so many fascinating thoughts. All I need to do is get them out of my head and onto the page.

Since Senator Ted Kennedy died, I've been thinking about him and how much he will be missed, not just by Massachusetts but by the entire country. He was one public figure whose heart was in the right place. I voted for him every time he came up for reelection, because he always represented me - us - so well. As far as I could tell, he truly cared for people. He didn't abuse his wealth and power the way so many others do. He wasn't perfect, but I don't want to recount his faults right now. I'm too busy brooding over my own...

Boston Moving Day

September 1, as I mentioned yesterday, is unofficial Moving Day in Boston. Today when I went out for my lunchtime walk, I saw U-Hauls and Ryder trucks and other vans and cars double-parked or looking for a parking space. I work in the South End, where supposedly more vehicles with resident parking stickers exist than there are parking places for those vehicles. There are some beautiful homes in the South End, red-brick row houses with rounded fronts, wrought-iron railings, and tiny, neat gardens. I was thinking as I walked yesterday that living in one of these buildings might be nice - but even if by some miracle I could afford it, I'm too old to compete for parking spaces! Too set in my ways, at least; I feel I deserve a parking space reserved especially for me. The one in my driveway works fine - although last night when I turned into my driveway, the neighbor's gray cat was stretched out in my parking space. My cat Peaches was talking to him from the safety of the window. I can't tell if they're friends or enemies. Gray Cat got up and stalked away, annoyed.

Fall is almost here / make-believe friends

The days are shorter, the air is cooler, and the students are returning to Boston. Tomorrow is Moving Day - September 1, the day that U-Haul vans and Ryder trucks clog the Boston streets to a standstill. It's worse than the everyday traffic jams caused by the usual double-parkers and UPS trucks... Fortunately, I don't have to drive in the city tomorrow. I don't even have to take the bus if I don't want to - I can walk to any one of three Orange Line stops. It'll be Farmer's Market Day in Copley Square, so that may well be my destination after work tomorrow.

Fall always makes me want to start new things (or resume old activities). I want to write daily entries in my blog as a way to stimulate me to write every day. Maybe I don't have all that much to say, but that puts me in good company with the vast majority of the other members of the blogosphere. Despair.com has a wonderful Demotivator about blogging: "Never before have so many people with so little to say said so much to so few."

I've been thinking about my online audience. Who are they? Do I even have one? I link to this blog from my Facebook account, so there's an off chance that somebody occasionally reads it. Since nobody leaves a note, I can't tell. But if, in fact, my Facebook friends do show up here, at least they're people who have met me face to face.

I used to post on Open Diary. I still have a diary there, although I haven't actually posted since about January. I have a list of "friends" there, too, just as I do on Facebook. The difference is that I have never met most of those OD friends face to face. In many cases, I don't even know their real names. And that's fine - that's the way that particular forum is run. My own need - what I was and am searching for online - is a group of real-life friends. Everybody I met on Open Diary was content to remain a cyberfriend only, and I decided that there was more potential on Facebook.

I don't need any more make-believe friends. That's at the root of my problem with religion and churches, too. I like to know that there's somebody real out there, somebody who might actually want to spend face-to-face time with me.

Cape Cod Vacation, Part 6

August 8, 2009

The boys arrived at about 9 Thursday night. I picked up two pizzas from the Box Office Cafe - a Pineapple Express (standard Hawaiian, ham and pineapple) and The Usual Suspects - meatball, sausage, pepperoni and green peppers. They were both delicious.

Friday was our only full day together at the Cape, and the weather was perfect. I realized that I had never brought my kids to the Cape Cod National Seashore, so that's what we decided to do. I wanted to go on the Atlantic White Cedar Swamp Trail, which is near the Marconi Site, so we did both of them. They're in Wellfleet. The Trail is just about a mile long. We forgot bug spray, but a couple we met on the trail lent us theirs. The part of the trail that runs through the swamp is a boardwalk, so you never have to get your feet wet. After we completed the walk, we went over to Marconi Station, site of the first two-way transatlantic radio transmission. We saw a few seals playing in the surf below the site of the station. The view of the water and the dunes was beautiful.

In the afternoon, we went to the beach. It was the first time I've gone to Red River Beach that the parking lot was full. Before the boys arrived, I was usually going over in the late morning. We drove around the lot until a place opened up. It was high tide, and the water was fairly calm. We had a great swim - it really is more fun to swim with friends and family.

Today we had to pack up and be out of the rental by 10 a.m. It was another lovely day, not too warm or humid. After I turned the key in to the realtor, we were in no hurry to leave the Cape. We walked around the center of Harwich Port for awhile, then the boys decided they wanted to visit Earth House in Orleans. So we did. After that, we had fish and chips at Seafood Sam's (I had fish and onion rings). Then it was time to go home.

I thought the cats would be thrilled that I was home. Peaches was - he followed me in and out of the house as I unloaded the car, and then sat in my lap and purred. Zoe, not so much. She was probably too mad at me for leaving her alone. She's thawed a little bit, now.

Cape Cod Vacation, Part 5

August 6, 2009

We never got thunderstorms here yesterday, but it's noticeably cooler today. It's been cloudy all day, with a couple of brief showers, so I haven't actually been to the beach yet, and it's almost 5. My main reason for forcing myself to go every day was to make the beach pass pay for itself. The next time I park in a lot, it will. If it's too cold and yucky to swim, I shouldn't feel guilty for deciding not to. Right?

I decided to drive up to Orleans this afternoon to visit Earth House, a hippie-New-Agey shop I used to love back in the late 80s and early 90s. I was delighted to discover that it hasn't changed all that much. Incense, crystals, bumper stickers of any description, hippie clothes and tee shirts (some tie dyes, really!). I walked in through a room of posters, which reminded me of the ones we used to decorate our dorm rooms with back in the 60s and 70s. The dressing room had Indian-print bedspreads, and the entire shop smelled of incense, that mixed-fragrance aroma that's typical of a lot of the old hippie shops and pagan/Wiccan shops I've visited more recently. I bought two long-sleeved rayon batik tops. They're the same style but very different prints: one's kind of a dark royal blue with large flowers in turquoise and olive and lighter blue; the other is purple print on a dark gray-teal background. I've spent all summer looking for some new tops, and I was so pleased to find these even though they were out of my size in the short-sleeved version. The saleswoman (short and heavy-set and very pleasant) was wearing one, and she helped me find these. I also bought some cone incense. I have my grandmother's old incense burner, a little cast iron pot that takes cones. The scent was called Into the Night and it smells very much the way the shop did – a combination of delightful odors.

I drove back down Route 28. Earth House is on Route 6A, and when I drove up to the route 28 intersection, the sign pointing north said Route 28 South, and the sign pointing south said Route 28 North. They weren't turned around, either. Route 28 starts just a short distance from where I was, and while it eventually turns north, it starts out going south and west across the Cape. I drove by Pleasant Bay and enjoyed looking at the water. By the time I was driving away from the center of Chatham, the inbound traffic was backed up for miles. I suppose the less-than-perfect weather was keeping people away from the beach. It was a relief not to be in the traffic myself.

The boys are coming down today. I just called and they're at my house, feeding my cats (who are very starved for affection!). One of them just texted me that they found a dead mouse behind my chair. YUCK!

Yesterday after I posted in this blog, I went down to the center of Harwich Port and bought a couple of books at Reed Books (yes, that's what it's called; the owner's last name is Reed). I walked by my realtor's office because I wanted to find out what this condo is going for – it's on the market, and the fact that my rental was so cheap made me expect the condo would be cheap, too. It is. $149,900. I didn't think you could buy property on the Cape for that little, especially stuff that's between Route 28 and Nantucket Sound. Yeah, it's about a mile from the beach, but still, it's the Cape! I'd buy it, but they only allow one pet. Oh, yeah, and I don't have the money. But if I did, and if I could bring both cats, yeah, I'd consider it.

The place where my sister bought the inflatable whale is now an art gallery. Oh, well.

Later I bought swordfish and took my daily swim. I went fairly late in the afternoon. It was still warm, but very windy, which made for some great waves to jump. Then it was time to grill the swordfish. But when I opened up the gas grill, it looked disgusting - filthy and unpleasant. So I ended up grilling the fish under the broiler. I didn't have any seasonings to speak of, so the fish was a little bland, but very good, with a nice light texture.

Cape Cod Vacation, Part 4

August 5, 2009

I'm sitting in the Brooks Free Library in Harwich, accessing their free wifi. (Should it be spelled wi-fi? No, that looks stupid.) It's air conditioned, which is an improvement over the 89% humidity outside. The temperature's only 75, but the humidity makes it feel ten degrees hotter. (WeatherBug says five, but what do they know?) If the sun were actually out, it'd be even hotter.

Yesterday I managed to get a slight sunburn on my back and shoulders. I guess I should have re-applied sunscreen; I was on the beach for around 3 hours. Today I'll just make a short visit, or else I'll keep a tee shirt on. I've made a goal to swim every day, and so far I have managed to do it.

I don't know what else to do today. After I leave here, I'm going to walk around the center of Harwich Port, but that doesn't take long. It's not as large as Chatham, and the center doesn't attract as many tourists. But there's a great book shop with used books, and I plan to spend some time there. And I'll probably visit the (expensive) yarn shop. I should go down to the place where my sister bought the inflatable whale... (in the early 90s, when I was coming down here with my parents and my small kids). Maybe I'll take some more pictures of flowers. It's so beautiful down on the Cape, even with gray skies. I plan to retire down here eventually.

This is the night I plan to buy swordfish. That was always a tradition when I came to the Cape with my parents, both as a child and as a younger adult. I want to buy a chunk and cook it on the gas grill on my mini-deck. If it ends up raining, I'll cook it inside.

Cape Cod Vacation, Part 3

August 4, 2009

I think I spent too much time in the sun today. I spent about three hours at the beach – it was a little hazy, but nice, with a good breeze. Then I drove to Chatham and walked up and down Main Street. I stopped at the cooking shop, the one I know has doughnut muffins under another name, and I got one – they call it a French breakfast muffin – and an iced coffee. See how tired I am? I can't remember the name of the shop. It's something like Chatham Cookery and Cafe. They didn't have rooibos tea. That might sound a little random. Let me explain: Earlier this summer I bought a box of Twinings rooibos tea, and my son and I started drinking it iced. It was delicious. So we went back to the Stop & Shop for another box. They didn't have it. They didn't even have a spot where it should have been. So we thought maybe we got it at the new Hannaford's that just opened where the Wild Oats used to be. Nope, they didn't have any, either. So I tried Shaw's. No luck. The day before I went on vacation, I walked down to Foodie's Urban Grocer near work. They didn't have Twinings, but they did have some organic brand. (I could get up and walk across the room to find out what it is if I weren't so tired.) I bought it, and I've been drinking it here. It's just as good. Anyway, I looked at the Star Market when I was there on Sunday, and I checked at the cookery shop, where they didn't have much tea to speak of anyway. I may make a pass by the Stop & Shop in East Harwich, just in case.

There's a clock with a pendulum over on the wall by the sliding back door. It's a battery-operated quartz clock, and the pendulum doesn't swing in rhythm with the clicking of the seconds. Annoying.

I stopped on the way back from Chatham at the natural foods store up in West Chatham, and got a loaf of When Pigs Fly Hog Heaven bread. It's got all sorts of good stuff in it, including cranberries. It seems a little odd to come to the Cape and buy the same brand of bread I'd have gotten back home, but if it's the best available, why not?

There's a strong breeze, and it's clouded over. I wish I had WeatherBug access here. Yesterday I changed my site to the Chatham airport, but of course, there's no wifi here. It looks like a thunderstorm might be in the works. Tomorrow (I remember from yesterday) the thunderstorm icon was up.

The hydrangeas have been spectacular. They're a Cape tradition; so many houses have them, and they're all in bloom, gorgeous blues and purples and pinks and white. There's a house on North Franklin Street in Lynn with a row of four blue hydrangeas in front of it; it would look right at home on the Cape.

I can hear chickadees in the back yard, and a chipmunk. There have been cardinals and song sparrows and goldfinches. This has really been a wonderful spot. Not a traditional Cape cottage, but still very relaxing.

Cape Cod Vacation, Part 2

August 3, 2009

Here I am in the Box Office Cafe, drinking iced coffee and accessing their wifi. Technically I'm supposed to get half an hour of time, but it's mid-afternoon and the place isn't all that full, so I hope I'll be able to write about today before I have to leave.

I came down here for my breakfast coffee. They had Sumatran, my favorite. I brought it back to the condo to drink with my day-old meltaway, which wasn't all that great. I won't be repeating that experience (the pastry. The coffee was great.). Some things really aren't as great as they seemed when you were a kid...

I got my beach sticker and was on the beach before 10:30. The water was warm and silky. The sun was bright. A perfect beach day. I don't think I got a sunburn; with any luck, the sunscreen I slapped on actually worked.

Now, I'm down here by myself. The boys are in New Hampshire and my daughter is working in DC. I don't have a Significant Other. Everybody else at the beach seemed to be in groups of family and friends. But I didn't really feel lonely. I talked to some of my fellow swimmers, and when I was on the beach, I read my book. The beach was a garden of brilliantly-colored umbrellas. It was a time to savor.

I left the beach at around noon. Then I made my annual pilgrimage to the Chatham Jam and Jelly Shop. Yeah, I know I said it was overpriced, but I wanted some exotic jams for my English muffins that were on sale at CVS... I got small jars of ginger marmalade and peach melba jam. I had them on an English muffin with a salad for lunch. Delicious.

I've taken some pictures, but I think I'll wait for another time to post them. I really have overstayed my half hour...

Cape Cod Vacation, Part 1

August 2, 2009

It all started when my New Hampshire vacation fell through. On Friday, July 15, my sons and I took a day trip to the Cape. On Saturday, July 16, I found out that their dad's sisters didn't think I was part of the family any more; I wouldn't be welcome at the family cottage after all. Not totally a surprise, I guess, just a rude awakening, since I didn't think any of them actively hated me. So I no longer had a place to go for the first week in August. I went up to bed, disgruntled, only to turn around, come right back downstairs and start to research a possible Harwich Port vacation. The economy still sucks, and I'd heard that there were still properties for rent even during the high season. I sent an email off to Commonwealth Realtors at just after midnight Sunday, July 17. That afternoon I received a response that I could rent this tiny condo in South Harwich for a total of $600, including the security/cleaning deposit. Not Harwich Port, exactly – but a lot closer to it than my living room.

After I agreed to rent it, I remembered that I had a handbell gig on August 1st – a 5:00 wedding – so I'd be arriving quite late. I was out of the church by 5 after six and pulling into the realtor's before 8:30 to pick up the key they'd left in their mailbox for me. It was still dusk then, which was good because, although I knew where the street was, I didn't know exactly where the condo was, and the only address I had was Unit 3. Fortunately I was able to recognize it from the picture.

I was thinking of it as “my little dive” - it looks like a converted motel – but it's much larger than I thought it'd be. Probably was once two motel rooms. It's close enough to Route 28 that I can hear the cars go by, but it's not that bad. I hear birds more often than cars.

It was very humid last night, and the place had been shut up for awhile (at least since that morning, maybe longer), so when I arrived it was stifling. After I moved my things in, I went back out to pick up a sub from the Harwichport House of Pizza (as I said in my blog from last fall, they're of the all-one-word school of the spelling of Harwich Port). I had not been running my air conditioner for the last half-hour of the trip, and when I got back into the car, the windshield immediately steamed up on the inside. When I turned on the a/c to clear it, the outside fogged up horribly. I couldn't see a thing, and it was dark by then. So I decided I wouldn't make any more trips outside.

Turns out they'd left me only a tiny amount of toilet paper, not enough to last until morning.

Well, I thought, I can use tissues – there's a box on the bureau.

With, as it turned out, two tissues left in it.

Now, they left me an extra roll of paper towels. But no toilet paper, and no tissues. I got out the little packet I keep in my pocketbook, just in case it became necessary. Fortunately, it didn't.

This morning, I was out the door before 7:30, and my first stop was CVS for toilet paper. I would have gotten tissues there, too, but I couldn't find them. My second stop was Bonatt's for a meltaway and a cup of coffee. When we vacationed here when I was a kid, Bonatt's was famous for its meltaways, a sweet pastry twisted into a horseshoe and iced with a kind of a streusel topping, as I remember it. The bakery was on the corner of Bank Street, and I remember walking under the fan when we'd walk from the parking lot into the bakery – the sweet smell of doughnuts and other delicious things was intoxicating. Mrs. Bonatt, the elderly proprietor, would give my sister and me bits of broken cookies. I used to love their bran muffins, too.

When my parents and my kids and I vacationed here 20-odd years ago, we tried them again. They'd branched out into fruit-filled, and as I recalled, they'd been delicious. So today I bought two meltaways, a blueberry one, which I ate this morning, and a plain one, which I'll have for breakfast in the morning. The coffee was adequate. The meltaway wasn't as good as I remembered. It seemed a little undercooked, for one thing, and it had an odd spice in it, something like lavender, I'm not kidding. I don't know how the other one will be by tomorrow.

Later on I went to the grocery store – I chose the Star Market (which is, of course, really a Shaw's). It was already crowded although it was only a little after 9. I picked up a few things, but not as much as I'll need for the week, probably.

The early part of the day had been foggy, but most of it had burned off by mid-morning and it was hazy, hot and humid. I decided to put off the beach until after lunch. Oh, yeah, I hadn't bought anything for lunch, had I? I ended up going down to South Chatham to visit the coffee shop the realtor had told me about, the one that she tought had wireless internet access. It did. It's called the Box Office Cafe, and it's kind of a mind-boggling place, well beyond a coffee shop. It's also a pizzeria, a sandwich shop, and it's open from 6 am to 9 pm. All of the sandwiches and pizzas are named after movies. They were posted around the room on fake movie posters. I ended up with an October Sky – I couldn't tell you what the movie was, and I'm here in my condo with no internet access so I can't look it up. The sandwich was cracked pepper turkey (oddly enough, we'd bought some from the deli at the Stop & Shop last week and I'd had it for lunch several times) with raspberry honey mustard, lacey Swiss (which I couldn't taste) on a toasted sub roll with Romaine lettuce, tomatoes, and red onions. I ate the entire thing, and it was delicious, although I wish I could have tasted the Swiss. I allowed the guy taking my order to talk me into ordering an iced latte to go with it. I had drunk about half of the iced latte by the time the sandwich was done. I brought it back here to eat; I didn't have my laptop with me, anyway.

By the time I decided to try the beach, it was mid-afternoon. I pulled into the Red River Beach parking lot at 2:45, and discovered that the attendant expected me to have a sticker. Or I could buy a day pass for $15. I had counted my cash before leaving for the beach, and I knew I had $12. So I went off to the Harwich Community Center, which was closing at 3, to see if I could a) find the place, b) get there before it closed, and c) actually purchase said pass. Well, I haven't lost my psychic sense of direction yet. I went straight onto Depot Road, knowing it'd connect with Route 39, and turned left, heading into Harwich. I spotted Oak Street right away and found the Community Center before 3. However, it turned out I needed to have proof of residence – that is, my lease. So I have to go back tomorrow morning.

Now, I was wearing my new bathing suit, the one I bought at least two years ago and still hadn't worn. Not only that, but one of my goals for this vacation is to get to the beach at least once a day. So I parked at the municipal lot in the center of Harwich Port and walked to the beach at the end of Zylpha Road. I'd chosen that location because it was on the list of public beaches the realtor had given me, and it was closer than Wyndemere Bluff. (it's one beach over.) The beach has quite a bit more sand than it did last fall, and the water felt like bath water; I was able to walk right in. I decided not to get my hair wet – I used to hate it when my friends would refuse to get their hair wet! - but I got in up to my neck. I immediately thought of my grandmother and my mother. I was doing it for myself, true, but I know Mom will ask, and I'll be able to say, yes, I went swimming, and it was great. I didn't stay in very long. It's not as much fun with no one to play with. I managed to leave my beach chair in Lynn, so I sat on my towel. I wasn't sure how well I'd do getting down to the ground and up again, what with the fake left knee, but I did fine. I sat and read for awhile. When I decided it was time to leave, I moved my feet and discovered my left foot had been bleeding. I don't have any idea when I'd cut it, and up until I noticed it, it hadn't hurt. It hurts a little bit now, but I hope it's not going to give me any trouble.

So now it's after 7:30 and I'm still full of October Sky sub. I think I'll have ice cream for supper. There's a place not too far from here, Schoolhouse, I think, and I'm planning to head out there soon.

American Idol Season 8 is over -

And the wrong guy won. How do I put this? Squeaky-clean, married (and therefore assumed to be heterosexual), cute boy with a little talent overshadows make-up-wearing, probably gay, over-the-top guy with a major talent. Obviously the red states are full of people who can't accept somebody who's so, um, flamboyant. And they're all watching American Idol, and they're the ones voting hundreds of times Tuesday night. (I got through twice.) I feel cheated. Of all the seasons I watched American Idol, the person I was supporting in the final two won. Until last night.

For once I watched the entire results show, and I enjoyed it right up until the end. I turned the TV off right after I heard the dismal news. I'm still furious. But I'll get a couple of good downloads off of it: Allison Iraheta (the real American Idol in my opinion!) sang an incredibly beautiful duet with Cyndi Lauper, "Time After Time." Cyndi was playing the dulcimer. And Adam Lambert, who should have won last night by a landslide, sang something with KISS (the first part I recognized from playing Rock Band, but I couldn't tell you the name...). Also, Michael Sarver sounded incredibly good when he performed with Steve Martin. I can't say the same thing about Megan Pain Joy; her voice reminds me of chalk squeaking on a blackboard.

I wish, I wish, I wish, that it had been Adam and Allison last night. That way, we'd have had a winner either way. With any luck, both of them will have stellar careers. I'll be looking for their albums.

American Idol: The Final Showdown

Well, this is it, the time all of us American Idol fans have been waiting for. Adam Lambert and Kris Allen competed last night. They were each asked to sing three songs. One they were allowed to choose from their previous performances during the competition. One was chosen by Simon Fuller, who created the show. And the final one was a newly-composed song that Kara DioGuardi co-wrote. Hmpf. Last year they had a songwriting competition, and the Davids were allowed to choose songs from the submissions. This year, their new judge got to write the song.

The singers had tossed a coin, and Kris won the toss. He chose to go second. I can understand that; the singer heard last tends to stick in your mind. But I'm not sure it worked out for him.

So the ever-dramatic and brilliant Adam Lambert went first. He chose to perform "Mad World" again. Excellent choice; I downloaded his earlier version. And he was breathtaking. He wore a long coat, almost ankle length, unbuttoned, and fog swirled around his feet in the blue light. Very mystical. He started out singing the song straight, then varied the melody in the second verse, just enough to keep it interesting and make it his own. It was an emotional performance, brilliant.

Randy loved that Adam was showing his sensitive side; he loved the long coat and the fog, and gave him an A plus. Kara was happy he chose that particular song, too. She told him he's he's an incredible artist. (Kara and the A word...) Paula was, of course, proud of him. She thought he was brilliant. Simon thought this was his best performance throughout the shows, but he thought it was a little bit overtheatrical; with the dry ice, the long coat, it reminded him a little bit of Phantom of the Opera. (Randy shrieked, “No, Twilight!”)


Kris Allen chose "Ain't No Sunshine", and performed it sitting at the piano. This was one of his best performances of the season; I even mentioned it last week. Like Adam's choice, it was a slow and deeply emotional song. Of course, Kris doesn't have Adam's stage presence, and I thought the piano kept him from communicating as well with the audience. He sang well, though.

Randy thought it was one of his best performances ever on the stage. Kara thinks he created an intimate bond with everybody in the audience (obviously, she didn't see the piano as an obstacle). Both Randy and Kara referred to his future album. Paula said he was “Allenizing” his songs with his trademark. Simon said that he originally wasn't sure that Kris was the right choice for the top two, but he's taking all that back after that performance.

Simon gave the first round to Kris. I disagree, of course.

The man who created American Idol, Simon Fuller, picked the next two songs (this spot used to go to Clive Davis). I know nothing about him, but both choices were soul songs from the 60s and 70s.

Adam Lambert was assigned “A Change Is Gonna Come”, written and originally recorded by Sam Cooke in 1963. He did a wonderful job. It had a slow, gospel feel. He was in that silver-gray suit he's worn before, and there was nothing too unusual about the lighting. Towards the end he poured his heart into his singing. This is what I love about Adam, the amount of emotion he can channel into his voice.

Randy said he can sing his face off and that was unbelievable. Kara thought it may have been his best performance and interpretation of a song since the beginning of the competition. She thought the high notes and the emotion are his winning combination. Paula, being Paula, stands up and gasps, “Adam, that was the best I've ever heard you sing, ever, ever, ever!” (She threw in a few more "Ever!"s.) She thought he looked like a superstar, and he's going to be iconic. Simon said he was 100% back in the game.

Kris Allen was given “What's Going On”, written and originally recorded by Marvin Gaye in 1970. This time, he accompanied himself on the guitar, and he gave a stripped-down version that might have worked for this song in other circumstances. I love this song; it's got an anti-war message that's deeply moving. It wasn't Kris' best performance, though. His voice was weak and he slid around the notes a little bit. Not bad, though.

Randy thought it was a little bit light for this big ol' room at this point in the competition. Kara babbled about how he's been true to himself from day one, and she's glad Simon Fuller picked a socially conscious song for him. She didn't say one word about how he sounded. Paula said he tore it up and made Marvin Gaye proud. Simon wasn't so thrilled, though. He said “It was like three friends in their bedroom strumming along to Marvin Gaye.” He didn't grab hold of the song and make it his version, and it was too laid back for a night like this. I think he's probably right, too.

Simon said Round Two goes to Adam.

Ryan opened up the next section with all the Top 13 who had been eliminated around him. It was nice to see Alexis Grace and Jasmine Murray there.

Each contestant now sang “No Boundaries,” cowritten by Kara DioGuardi, Cathy Dennis and Mitch Allan.

I wasn't sure how much Adam Lambert was enjoying himself singing this song, which I don't think he would have chosen for himself. At the beginning, his pitch was shakier than I'd ever heard before. But his voice strengthened as the song went on, until he was really wailing Adam-style. Then he pulled it back, a quiet, tender section; then he let it go again. Ack, the Swaybots are back! (Those are the teenyboppers in the front who sway back and forth with their arms in the air. I give credit to Michael Slezak for coining the name.) Nice performance, but not his best.

Randy said he could sing the phone book (yeah, I rolled my eyes at that platitude), but it wasn't one of his favorite performance; a little pitchy in spots. Kara was moved and proud to hear him sing her song. He thanked her for it, said it was beautiful. Paula babbled; I couldn't get a handle on what she said. Simon stated he wouldn't judge the song; he'd judge Adam instead. “Over the entire season,you have been one of the best, most original contestants we've ever had on the show, and the whole idea about doing a show like this is that you hope that you can find a world-wide star. I genuinely believe with all my heart that we have found that with you. Congratulations.”

Kris Allen, in his turn, also gave a very weak and pitchy beginning. He picked up by the chorus, but his pitch was still uneven, and he faded out on some notes, as if he'd run out of air. Not a very polished performance; I was a little embarrassed for him. He carried it off, though, finally, grabbing the mike stand and walking around the stage.

Randy said he should be very proud of what he's done in the competition. He thought the song fit his voice better than Adam's. Kara thought the song was too high for him, but he's a compelling artist, and she congratulated him on an incredible season. Paula told him he's done an amazing job to get this far. Simon thinks his highlight was the first song he sang. But he thought Kris deserved to be standing on this stage tonight. I really felt the judges were trying to let him down gently; they seemed convinced he couldn't win. Although I don't remember Simon mentioning it, it was clear the third round went to Adam.

If there's any sense and order to the universe, Adam will be winning this competition. What worries me is Kris' fan base. There are a lot of them, and they probably had more patience than I did voting last night. I managed to get through for Adam twice; my son got through five times, so if Adam wins by seven votes, they were ours. But if we were basing this on talent, on charisma, on stage presence, on style, Adam is the clear winner.

American Idol Update: Bye Bye, Danny!

Let me restate my opinion: American Idol's Top Two should be Adam Lambert and Allison Iraheta. That not being the case, I knew there would have to be a choice between Kris Allen and Danny Gokey.

Checking over my earlier blog entries, I've determined the number of times I actually liked Danny Gokey:

• Top 36, when he did Mariah Carey's "Hero." Funny, I can't even remember that now.


• Top 9, iTunes Top Download Week, when he did Rascal Flatts' "What Hurts the Most."


• And, oddly enough, Top 5, Rat Pack Standards, when he did "Come Rain or Come Shine". I said his was the best performance of the night. I didn't download it, though, although I did download Allison Iraheta's performance (I wanted the free autographed picture!).

Okay, how often did I like Kris Allen over these weeks?

• Top 9, iTunes Top Download Week, when he did "Ain't No Sunshine" by Bill Withers.


• Top 7, Take 2, when he performed "She Works Hard for the Money" by Donna Summer. I liked his take on it, and I commented that it was the best he'd ever done.


• Top 5, Rat Pack Standards, when he did "The Way You Look Tonight". I said: "Kris Allen continues to surprise me. He's one singer who has improved as the competition has gone on."


• I basically liked his performance of "Come Together" on Top 4 Week. He took some risks.


• And last, but far from least, this week, when he did Kanye West's "Heartless." That one I'll be downloading.

Kris has steadily improved over the competition, and he's impressed me more as the season has gone on. I don't think he can beat Adam Lambert, but he can certainly give him a run for his money. He was the right choice of the two of them. And fortunately, America got it right. Next week should be very, very entertaining!!!

American Idol "Top" Three Perform

I never updated last week. The results just proved who does the bulk of the voting in this competition: heterosexual teenage girls. Why else would two not-especially-talented males still be in the competition, when one of the two most talented performers in this year's competition was sent home? My long-term choice for second place, Allison Iraheta, who FAR outperformed both Danny Gokey (ESPECIALLY Danny Gokey) and Kris Allen, was sent home. I always get caught up in American Idol, and they always send somebody talented home too early. Tamyra Gray came in fourth during the first season; I'd chosen her to win. And while Kelly Clarkson has proved she deserved the title, I still think Tamyra was cheated. (Interesting aside: I watched Rachel Getting Married recently, and Tamyra had a bit part as a singer.) And there was the season I didn't watch because IMHO most of the singers sucked; that season Chris Daughtry was sent home in fourth place. He has proven himself to be the best performer of that season. How did Taylor Hicks ever win? He hasn't had any success; the week he performed on the results night, I fast-forwarded through it. Boooring. Chris was the performer last week, by the way. I didn't fast-forward through him!

Anyway, with any luck, Allison will be a huge success without winning Idol. Sigh. It's depressing when superb talent isn't enough to get you through. The fuchsia hair probably didn't help.

So last night, the three men sang. There were at least two good performances, and no, they weren't both by Adam Lambert. Here's the way I see it:

Last night was the 300th episode of American Idol. (Obviously they count all those laugh-at-the-bad-performer tryout episodes.) The three men were asked to perform one song chosen by the judges, and one that they chose. The one who should have gone home last week, Danny Gokey, was up first. Paula had chosen "Dance, Little Sister" by Terence Trent D'Arby. Okay, I've heard of him, but I didn't recognize the song. And even if I had, I wouldn't have after Danny murdered it. What is this, disco week? According to Wikipedia, this song was released in 1987, so I guess it wasn't supposed to be disco, but that's the way it sounded to me. I suppose this song suited his style. He did a “duet” with the saxophonist; I thought it was cute. But as usual, Danny was off-key, and his interpretation was to shout the entire song. Not my cup of tea at all. But Randy liked it. Kara said that the dancing was "a little too gyrating" for her... She didn't think she'd remember the performance tomorrow. Paula thought he did a fantastic job. Simon wanted to "remind the two girls that this is actually a singing show, not that funny little dancing show, whatever it is, next door." (Michael Slezak said it was "Dancing With the Stars".) He agreed with Kara that the dancing was a bit "desperate". He didn't like the "toy" saxophone bit in the middle, but thought the singing was good. Are they all wearing some kind of selective filter over their ears that removes all the bad notes? Sheesh.

Kris Allen was up next. Randy and Kara chose “Apologize” by One Republic for him. "Big song, big range, big voice," Randy explained. Right. I'd at least heard this song before. Kris chose to start it at the piano. A poor choice; his playing simply isn't strong enough, and his singing couldn't pull him through. And as for that "big range" stuff? He squeaked the high notes painfully. Eventually, he chose to perform them at a lower range. Uh huh. Big voice, my ass. Randy, of course, must have been watching an imaginary performance; he thought this song showed who Kris could be in the future of the music business. Kara thought it was competent, but by now he's got to be doing better. "Take more chances." She thought he should have performed it with the guitar. Paula mentioned his "bum note" and then said "I'm proud of you." Typical. Simon thought it was a competent version of the original, but not quite as good.

Finally, it was time for Adam Lambert. Simon got to choose for him - think they've picked the winner already? Adam was on the cover of Entertainment Weekly this week, BTW. Anyway, Simon chose "One" by U2. He had to get permission from the band, and (name-dropping!) added that he'd had a phone call from Bono on Saturday giving him permission. Adam started it quietly, drawing out the raw emotion of the song, and I thought it was perfect for him. Then he went for the high, loud notes, twisting the melody. He's just so impressive, even when he hits the occasional off note (which he did). Randy said "Unbelievable vocals", but he didn't like when Adam went off the melody. At this point, Simon booed (Randy boos him every show, when they announce his name in the intro). Kara called him an "amazing strategist." He did his own version. "See what I mean, Simon?" she taunted, referring to their argument over Kris' performance earlier. Paula thought it was "One" brilliant song, "One" superb performance, and "One" American idol that she's looking at right now. Simon called it a brilliant song choice (he made it, of course), and a brilliant performance.

The second half of the show, the alleged top three performed the songs they'd chosen for themselves. Danny Gokey had chosen "You Are So Beautiful", by Joe Cocker. He gave a very slow and tender performance. His husky voice worked well with the sentiment, but I thought the huskiness overshadowed the melody in some places. Randy liked it. "Mad vocals, dude." Kara thought it was stunning. Paula said he left all of them breathless. Simon didn't think the song needed rearranging, but he thought the singing was good.

Kris Allen chose "Heartless" by Kanye West. I think Kanye West confuses himself with God, and I didn't expect to like it. But I did. Kris accompanied himself on the guitar, and that was the only accompaniment. And it worked. This was the first Kris Allen performance I plan to download. His voice sounded good, and the song suited his style. Randy thought this would be one of the toughest voting nights ever. He thinks Kris did it even better than the Fray or Kanye West. (The Fray covered it?) Kara wished he'd done this (used just the guitar) with the first song. Bold, brave and fearless. She loved it. Paula said "You know, you are the bravest artist because you sang a song that's about Simon Cowell." She loved it. Simon thought the first song choice was lame, and he'd mentally written Kris out. But that's all changed after that performance. I agree. Since Allison can't be there, I'd prefer him to Danny in the Top Two.

Adam Lambert chose "Crying" by Aerosmith. It's all Adam, high notes, emotional performance, over the top as usual. Not my favorite performance of his, though. Randy said "You're one of the best we've ever had on this stage." He thinks Adam should be a rock star. Kara asked "How do you hit these notes and still talk the next day?" Paula thinks Adam set the bar very high. Simon said he wasn't going to "suck up", because it's easy to assume that Adam will sail through to the finals. He wanted everybody to vote for him because he deserves to be there.

And we tried. My son and I tried to vote for Adam for about an hour, but we couldn't get through. I suppose that's a positive sign...

Anyway, if there's any rightness left in this competition and it isn't all being rigged by the producers, Kris Allen should join Adam Lambert in the finals.

American Idol: Top 4 Perform

Last night it was Classic Rock Night on American Idol. "Classic Rock" is a term that makes me wince - it smacks of Oldies, and I was afraid we might get Classic Pop instead. But the mentor turned out to be Slash, the guitarist from Guns n' Roses and Velvet Revolver. Now, he can rock. So I thought it might turn out to be fun. I was expecting great things, especially of Adam and Allison.

It didn't quite live up to my expectations, although it wasn't too bad. Here goes:

Adam Lambert went first. He had chosen "Whole Lotta Love," by Led Zeppelin. Good choice - it's definitely classic rock. I thought he looked more like Elvis in Las Vegas than a rock god, though. He was wearing a silver beaded jacket, and had his hair done spiky and falling over the left side of his face. Adam definitely has the pipes for this. His singing is faultless. Absolutely wonderful ending, the pause and the great finale. (Although it seemed odd to hear Adam, who is widely assumed to be gay, singing "WOMAAAAN"...) Randy was effusive: "This is the Adam that I love." He's a rock star waiting to happen. Kara said Adam's a rock god. Paula thought it was perfect. Simon thought it was one of his favorite performances that Adam's ever done. "The problem is, nobody can top that now."

American Idol's Rock Goddess, Allison Iraheta, was up next. She told us she'd visited Adam's hair stylist for this. I don't know how to describe her hair; it was pink with purple highlights and I think she had extensions. She said couldn't decide between "Somebody to Love" by Jefferson Airplane or "Cry Baby" by Janis Joplin. She went with the Joplin. I'm willing to bet she would have made a great Grace Slick, too, but she was in her element doing Joplin. She's got the right voice for it, the huskiness and the raw passion. I just love to hear Allison sing. The judges weren't all that enthusiastic about her song choice, though. Randy didn't love the song choice; it didn't have a lot of melody in it. Kara thought Janis was the right choice for her, but "Piece of My Heart" might have been a better song. Later, after all the judges had spoken, Allison commented that "Piece of My Heart" had already been done so often on the show, and she's got a point. Paula thought she was peerless, and could play Janis in a biopic. Simon was amazed at how far she's come during the competition. He thought she had complete confidence, and her vocal was good, but it wasn't that original.

For the first time, American Idol featured two duets by the Top Four. The first one featured Kris Allen and Danny Gokey performing "Renegade", by Styx. These two singers were well-matched; they're the weaker singers, the ones who aren't exactly rockers. They tried hard, and they looked like they were having fun. But Kris, as usual, was a little pitchy. Danny's the clear star of the two of them. Randy really liked the harmonies; thought they complemented each other greatly. The individual vocals were okay, but the harmonies were outstanding. Kara thought they couldn't always hear themselves; there were pitchy moments. But together they were strong. Paula thought it was powerful and compelling. Simon said Danny was better than Kris. That's the only thing he said. Sheesh. Even though he's right, I wish he'd said more.

Kris Allen did his solo piece after the break. He'd chosen "Come Together", by the Beatles. I groaned. Carly Smithson did this so well last season - how did he dare try it again? But Kris looked as if he was having fun with the clearly drug-influenced words. (Example: "He wear no shoeshine he got toe-jam football / He got monkey finger he shoot coca-cola / He say "I know you, you know me" / One thing I can tell you is you got to be free...") He was accompanying himself on the guitar, and he always looks more confident on stage when he's got it. I thought he did a creditable job; he was different enough from Carly to make it interesting. He did one part an octave lower, and I thought that worked well. It was weaker at the end, though. Randy appreciated that Kris (not a rocker) picked something where he could still be himself. He loved what he was playing on the guitar. Kara said he's the softer side of rock, but she didn't think it was a good performance. Paula thought it was risky to do a Beatles song, but she thought he did well, at least I think that's what she was trying to say. Simon didn't like it that much, it was "rather like eating ice for lunch...it will leave you with nothing to remember afterwards." He thought it was quite a boring song, a safe performance.

Danny Gokey chose "Dream On" by Aerosmith. He's got guts to attempt this song, and he didn't do all that well. I don't think this was a good choice for him. The high notes were just shrieked, horrible. The ending, where Steve Tyler screams in clear falsetto, came out like subway brakes squealing. Randy said he knows this isn't Danny's genre; it was all right for him, not perfect, but he'll give him an A+ for effort. Kara thinks he took it a little too far. But she likes to see growth, risks, more edge. She commends him for taking chances. Paula doesn't think this was the right song for him, but she's a fan of his. Simon said the last note was like watching a horror movie. A scream. It didn't work, but Simon still thinks Danny will be safe. I'm not so sure. If fans keep remembering that last note, Danny will be the one going home tonight.

Finally, Adam Lambert and Allison Iraheta did their duet, "Slow Ride" by Foghat. (I've never heard of them.) Adam and Allison are still my Top Two. Their voices work well together. Randy thought they were two seasoned rock stars; they should do a duet on their albums. Kara said they're a rock god and rock goddess, pushing each other to be better. Paula said the two of them are a perfect blend. Simon said they win the battle of the duets.

If they still do a Bottom Three tonight, it's clear that somebody undeserving will be in it. The Bottom Two are Danny Gokey (because of Dream On) and Kris Allen (just because he's a weak singer). I'd prefer to see Kris go home, because I think Danny will redeem himself next week. If Allison or Adam get sent home, I'm going to be furious.

American Idol Update: Down to four

Interesting outcome on Wednesday night. With only five left, it was obvious that a Bottom Three was going to include a possible winner. Ryan divided the performers into two groups: Allison and Danny to the right (traditionally the side of the "safe" singers) and Matt and Kris to the left (where the Bottom Three stools are). Then he asked Adam which group he thought he belonged with. Of course, he chose Danny and Allison. To the surprise of almost everybody, Ryan moved him over to stand with Matt and Kris - who were in fact in the Bottom Three. Well, third place out of five... But wait! When Ryan returned a singer to the "safe" side, it wasn't Adam, it was Kris. So there's the Bottom Two: Matt, who should have been there, and Adam, who shouldn't have. Fortunately, it was Matt who was sent home.

So the top four are Danny, Allison, Kris and Adam, probably in that order as of last week's voting. I still think Adam is the most talented performer in this group, but that doesn't necessarily make him the American Idol. I'd love to see Allison win.

I spent some time yesterday downloading American Idol tracks and videos. I got Allison's performance of "Someone to Watch Over Me", and it came with a free "autographed picture" (well, she autographed a picture and somebody scanned it in...). I also downloaded some of my other favorite performances, including Anoop Desai doing "True Colors" (it's lovely) and Jesse Langseth doing "Bette Davis Eyes". I still think Jesse should have been in the Top Twelve. I also spent some money on Adam Lambert tracks - I sprung for the videos of "Wheel of Fire" (it's so over the top!) and "Tracks of my Tears", to be sure and get that stripped-down accompaniment. I also got "Mad World", so now I have three different performances of it on iTunes.

American Idol, Top 5 Perform

Last night was Rat Pack Standards night. I'll admit I'm ignorant about the Rat Pack - I knew it was a group of entertainers that included Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr., Dean Martin and Joey Bishop. Except for Sinatra, I tend to think of them as actors, though, not singers. Wikipedia says they were in the original Ocean's Eleven. So I wasn't sure what to expect from the music, but I didn't expect I'd like it very much.

And it was pretty much what I expected - but somehow it was fun, too, and told us a lot about the performers. Jamie Foxx was their mentor. He's an excellent musician, classically trained, besides being an Oscar-winning actor.

Kris Allen continues to surprise me. He's one singer who has improved as the competition has gone on. Last night he performed "The Way You Look Tonight", once performed by Frank Sinatra, and he carried it off beautifully. His voice was clear and true, and he didn't flub any notes that I noticed (and I would have). Randy thought it was his best performance to date, and I agree. Kara and Paula heaped praise onto Kris, as usual. Simon, however, thought it was a bit wet. When Ryan asked him what he meant by "wet," he responded "Not dry." Uh huh. "Like taking a very well-trained spaniel for a walk...it's going to be safe, it's going to be quite nice, but I didn't think it was incredible." He didn't get the feeling from this performance that Kris could win this competition.

I wasn't sure what Allison Iraheta would do with this category. She's such a punk rocker at heart, with the pink hair and the outrageous clothes. But she was absolutely wonderful performing "Someone To Watch Over Me" (also sung by Frank Sinatra). She had such poise; she sang from her heart, and she made the song just wrenchingly beautiful. She is so talented, and Monday was her seventeenth birthday. It's amazing how mature she sounds when she's singing, given that when she talks, she's clearly a teenager. Randy thought it might be a tough genre for Allison, but he thought it was "da bomb." He loved it. Kara thinks Allison made some new fans tonight. It was beyond her years. Paula loved the innocence. Simon asked her if she thinks she could win this competition. She said yes, she thinks she can. He said it was a great performance, but he thought she might be in trouble. So I voted for her - only the second time I've ever voted in American Idol (the first time was for David Cook in the finals last year). My son voted for her, too. She's wonderful, and she's still in my Top Two.

Matt Giraud performed "My Funny Valentine" (which was recorded by both Sinatra and Sammy Davis Jr., making it a double Rat Pack choice). Matt's the weakest performer left in this competition. He wore the fedora again (or maybe it was a different one), but it didn't improve his singing. He started out weak, a little off-key. This music just doesn't suit his singing style. He was husky; his voice lacked the purity I'd like to be hearing. Randy thought it was a hard song to sing, and it was a little bit pitchy, some of the runs didn't land right, 6 out of 10. Kara didn't think he was emotionally connected to it. Paula did feel the connection, and thought he did an excellent job. Simon disagreed with Randy; he thought it was the only believable, authentic song he's heard tonight; he can tell Matt loves the music. He thought it was brilliant. Simon has clearly got his head up his ass where Matt is concerned, I don't know why. I predict Matt goes home tonight.

Danny Gokey did "Come Rain or Come Shine", another song Sinatra recorded. He made a classic entrance, sauntering onto the stage as the introduction played, and he sang his heart out. I was surprised; this was the best Danny has sounded since the beginning of the competition, as far as I'm concerned. He was superb, well into character, and he gave a riveting performance. Randy thought Danny could put out an album of songs like this. Kara said he has the Rat Pack swagger. She thought the end of the song was the most creative he's been this season. Paula said "Stellar." Simon liked the swagger and confidence; he felt Danny came out to prove a point; his vocals were the best he'd heard from him in weeks. The arrangement was superb. It was outstanding. I've seen Simon quoted as predicting Danny would be in the Top Two, and I could never see it before tonight.

And finally, the always unpredictable Adam Lambert sang "Feelin' Good", a song once performed by Sammy Davis Jr. (and also by such varied artists as George Michael and the Pussycat Dolls, according to Wikipedia). He made a grand entrance, starting to sing on the red-lit staircase and then swaggering down the stairs and onto the stage. The music reminded me of something that would be played while a stripper is removing her clothing, kind of typical over-the-top Adam fare. It was a little tongue-in-cheek; he didn't seem to be taking himself or the song seriously. But he's clearly a performer, and he loves the audience. Randy thought it was a little too theatrical, a little too Broadway, but another great performance. Kara thought he was "confusing and shocking and sleazy and superb and way over the top, but I don't know, I like you." Paula thought he was superb. Simon thinks Adam wants to win, wants to entertain, and he made the best entrance we've had this year.

I'd rate the performances tonight:

Danny Gokey was the best. Allison Iraheta runs a close second. Adam Lambert has dropped back to third place. Kris Allen was fourth, and Matt Giraud was fifth and should be going home tonight.

American Idol Update: Two Eliminations

I suppose it doesn't take any great skill or luck to have figured out in advance who would be going home this week from American Idol. I was right - it was Lil Rounds and Anoop Desai. It was time for both of them to leave, I'm afraid. Now there are five. Allison Iraheta was the third member of the Bottom 3, and I'm afraid she'll be voted off too soon. She should be at least in the Top 3, if not the Top 2. Anyway, that's all on my Idol blathering this week.

American Idol Top 7 Perform (again)

In one of those statements I can't believe I'm making: It was Disco Night last night. I don't know what the American Idol producers see in disco music; maybe it's a deliberate challenge to the performers. Here, take this reeking pile of, um, discs and turn it into something that's, if not exactly beautiful, at least bearable. And several of them rose to the challenge. There were seven performers again this week, because the judges chose not to send Matt Giraud home last week. That means two will be going home tonight.

Yesterday Michael Slezak (who writes about American Idol for ew.com) posted a little article on what he thought the top 7 should perform on Disco Night. He made 14 selections, of which I'd heard of one. Before that, he said:

Of course, if the top 7 are stupefyingly uncreative -- or limited to the same tiny list of songs the Idol producers seem destined to hear on the show over and over and over -- then we'll be hearing three Donna Summer tunes, three tracks off the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack, and Danny Gokey's cover of "Grease."

Geez, he got it almost perfect.

Plagued with lengthy shows, they plunged right in: as soon as Ryan gave the intro, Lil Rounds was up there on stage performing Chaka Khan's “I'm Every Woman”. This seems like a song that would suit Lil well. But, once again, she didn't live up to her earlier promise. She wasn't always on key, and she flubbed a few notes. Randy thought it lacked vocal control. Kara made her standard complaint that Lil didn't tell us who she was as an artist (anybody else getting sick of Kara's constant harping on artistry?). Paula pointed out that Lil had been suffering from laryngitis yesterday. Even so, Paula didn't think Lil had reached the boiling point (hot, but not hot enough). Simon, predictably, hated it. No originality, vocals and arrangement were a mess. He thinks Lil will be going home this week. I agree - I thought she was going home last week.

Kris Allen made an unusual choice for his song; he did “She Works Hard for the Money” by Donna Summer. It was hard to imagine what it might sound like sung by a guy. He accompanied himself on the guitar, and surprisingly, the arrangement was wonderful. It was kind of Latin, with those large drums - congas? - and a slower, softer tempo. I thought it was the best Kris has ever done. Kara thought he took a real risk, and it paid off big time. Paula said it had a classy Santana feel to it. Simon thought it was original, well thought out, not karaoke, a fantastic performance. Randy thinks he's ready for the big time.

That was the first Donna Summer song...

Danny Gokey didn't do "Grease", however; he did “September”, by Earth, Wind and Fire. This is one of those songs that I've certainly heard before, ad nauseam, but I had no idea what it was called or who performed it. (I was in my classical music phase in the 70s.) I wasn't all that thrilled with his performance. I thought it didn't deviate that much from the original, and was expecting the judges to throw the K word (karaoke) around. But they didn't. At least three of them think Danny can do no wrong. I was wondering if they heard the same song I did. Randy thought the song worked for him. Kara thought it was pitch perfect, another solid performance. Paula said he has one of the sexiest voices ever. Simon, at least, had a similar experience to mine. He didn't get any star power from the performance. He thought it was a bit awkward and clumsy.

Allison Iraheta chose “Hot Stuff” by Donna Summer. I rolled my eyes when I heard what she was performing. But she carried it off well. She started out sitting on a red-lit staircase, singing the song very slowly, and I was concerned for a minute. But then she swung into the up-tempo version. She was strutting around the stage in a black minidress, and I thought she looked the part of a 70s disco singer. She sounded great, too, as always. Randy didn't love the arrangement (it was a little overindulgent for him) but he still thinks she's one of the best singers in the competition. Kara didn't love the arrangement, either; she didn't like the slower tempo, but she agrees Allison is one of the best singers in the competition. Paula liked it. Simon thought it was a brilliant performance.

That's two Donna Summer songs...

Ryan pointed out that Adam Lambert had already performed a disco song, "Play that Funky Music." (That was disco?!) Adam, of course, had to be tremendously original. He was dressed in a black suit with his hair in a kind of puffy style, and he sang “If I Can't Have You,” from Saturday Night Fever. I had to look up who performed it originally; it was Yvonne Elliman. Never heard of her. And I don't remember the song, but that may just be due to the arrangement Adam did. He did it as a ballad, slow and romantic, crying his heart out with his singing. Randy said he's ready right now (something I've been saying all season). Kara said he was brilliant. Paula liked it. Simon had thought Adam would choose a Donna Summer song, but he loved this because it was original, memorable and the vocals were immaculate.

One Saturday Night Fever song...

I guess it's no big surprise that Matt Giraud, who got the Judges' Save last week, chose “Staying Alive,” by the Bee Gees, also from Saturday Night Fever. The fedora was back. I thought he sounded amazingly good. This song suited his style. His pitch was pretty good, and I thought he conveyed the excitement very well. Randy didn't love the song choice or the arrangement, but said that Matt can really sing. Kara said it wasn't original, but he gave a solid performance. Paula said he'll be staying. Simon didn't like the performance; a bit desperate, he didn't think the vocals were great, he didn't hear any originality.

That was the second Saturday Night Fever song.

And, last but not least, Anoop Desai sang “Dim All the Lights”, by Donna Summer. He's grown some facial hair that I thought made him look scary. He gave it a slow intro, and I held my breath, but he finally brought it up to rhythm. But his notes weren't true, and I thought his performance was just boring. And I usually love Anoop's performances. I think he's going to be going home after this. Randy thought he could sing even though he didn't like the arrangement. “Nice, baby, nice.” Kara thought it was a great song choice. She thinks he's hitting his stride. Paula thought he looked fantastic. He was wearing a pink sweater under a gray suit. She thinks he should smile more. Simon disagreed; he thought it was mediocre at best. A horrible version of that song, his worst performance by a mile. Yeah, Simon hit the nail on the head.

And that was the third Donna Summer song. Michael Slezak was right. Almost. I think that's funny. Also a little sad. At least Disco Week is over.

I think that Lil and Anoop will be going home tonight. It's sad; we can't keep everybody all the way to the end, of course, or what would be the point? But there is a lot of talent in this group.

American Idol Update

Well, the "elimination" on American Idol didn't happen the way it should have. I'm just going to sum this up briefly:

• Anoop Desai was in the Bottom 3 again. This should NOT be happening.
• Kris Allen was NOT in the Bottom 3 again. Once again, this should NOT be happening. Okay, he made the best song choice of the evening, when I stop and think about it; it was original and not at all overdone. (And it wasn't by Bryan Adams!) But he's a performer, not a singer, and it bothers me to see everybody adoring him all the time.
  
• Lil Rounds was not voted off, even though she gave the worst performance of Tuesday evening. She's a sweetheart, and I guess she's got a huge fan base, but she's not American Idol material.
• Matt Giraud was voted off. Sort of. The judges used their veto to give him another chance. I was actually fairly happy about that, because he wasn't the worst performer of the week.

Next week, two people will be going home. And, horror of horrors, it's Disco Week.

American Idol, Top 7 Perform

Last night was Movie Night at American Idol. Quentin Tarantino was the guest coach. He loves American Idol; he was a guest judge during Season 3. I'm somewhat of a fan - loved Reservoir Dogs and the Kill Bill movies but didn't get Pulp Fiction at all. Anyway, the contestants performed songs from the movies. This had the potential to be either excellent or an utter disaster. In my opinion, it was closer to the second of these. Overdone? They did it again anyway. All the blah, boring movie themes were rehashed.

Because the show ran so far overtime last week (pissing off people like me, who TiVoed it and had Adam Lambert's performance cut off), only two judges were allowed to speak for each contestant. It still ran over, but I was prepared this week.

Allison Iraheta: "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing", by Aerosmith (from Armageddon)

Ah, Aerosmith's sellout song... I have always found this song hard to accept as an Aerosmith song. It's too lite-pop. And I don't think this is a good song for Allison. She's sounded better. Sometimes this is barely musical. She's shouting and emoting; I don't like it at all. But the judges seemed to love it. You never can tell... Paula said she's authentic; she compared her with Adam Lambert. (Since they're my choice for Top 2, I'm inclined to agree.) Simon thought Allison was the girls' only hope. Every week she's getting stronger and more confident; he didn't think he'd ever heard a girl sing that song as well.

Anoop Desai: "(Everything I Do) I Do It For You", by Bryan Adams (Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves)

I groaned when I heard his pick. Overdone! Overdone! Overdone! But he sounded really good on it. I was impressed. He hit every note clearly and on pitch. Randy had the same impression I did – this is gonna suck – but he said Anoop has found his zone, it was in tune and had some emotion, a really good job. Kara agreed that Anoop has found his place. She thought it was one of his best (I agree). She felt connected to his singing. I'm a huge Anoop fan, and I'll be furious if he ends up in the Bottom 3 again tonight.

Adam Lambert: "Born to be Wild", by Steppenwolf (from Easy Rider)

Adam didn't disappoint. His choice was typical of him: flashy, edgy. The guy is a born performer. He did a lot of gasping, scooping between notes; it could have sounded sloppy, but it was effective. He played off the band and back-up singers. Actually there have been a few less-than-pure notes. But when he soared up there in the falsetto, wow. There were sixties-style strobe lights. Paula was on her feet (again). The audience was screaming. “You dare to dance in the path of greatness.” “Fortune rewards the brave.” Simon said it was vocally incredible, but it was a little bit like watching the Rocky Horror Picture Show in parts. He thinks some of the audience will despise it; it won't be as popular as his last week's performance.

Matt Giraud: "Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman", by Bryan Adams (from Don Juan DeMarco)

That little "Overdone!" light was flashing in my mind again when this was announced. Of course, Matt chose to perform it sitting at the piano, and he is a very good pianist, so he's playing to his strength. As for his singing: not every note was accurate, but overall, it wasn't that bad. Randy thought it was interesting (a word he uses when he didn't like a performance), but there was a rough patch at the bridge. He thinks he overdid the melody; he fell down more places than he won. Kara said it's the struggle between rock and soul. She thought he altered the melody too much, trying to put soul into a rock song.

Danny Gokey: "Endless Love", by Lionel Richie (from Endless Love)

He performed without the distinctive glasses last night. It was a weak beginning; the range was too low for him, and the notes weren't strong and were occasionally off-key. He was stronger on the second half of the song. I don't know this song, so I'm not sure what it's supposed to sound like. I think it'd be very hard for him to sing this song, though, where he recently lost his wife. All in all, though, I thought it was one of his weakest performances. Paula didn't like the beginning, either, but he pulled it together by the middle. Simon said he can't fault the way he sang it, but he was disappointed by the harp and the very traditional arrangement.

Kris Allen: "Falling Slowly", by Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová (from Once)

This little song won an Oscar in 2007. I suppose it was a good movie song, but I still haven't seen the movie, so I don't know. I don't really like the song; it's too small and wispy. He started it at a range that was too low for him; the inaccuracies of his pitch stood out. He did a little better on the chorus, but I've never liked him and I didn't really like this song. It was slow and not very interesting. The ending was nice. Randy thought it never quite caught on for him. It was pitchy from note one. Kara thought it was one of his best moments. I'm with Randy, and I hope Kris finally takes his place in the Bottom 3 where he belongs.

Lil Rounds: The Rose, by Bette Midler (from The Rose)

Unfortunately, Lil has gotten weaker as this competition has gone on. She just hasn't lived up to her promise. She played too much with the melody. It was pitchy and just wasn't that effective. In fact, it was excruciating. Paula said something about how it's worth it to get along the road; it sounded as if she thought this was the end of the road for Lil, and it may well be. Simon thinks she got it completely wrong; the song was too soft for her, too middle-of-the-road. There are no excuses any more; she's not the artist we met 7 or 8 weeks ago. I think Lil will be going home tonight. I hope she gets a recording contract, at least.

So that's it: Lil Rounds should be the one going home tonight. I hope that Kris Allen joins her in the Bottom 3; I'm getting sick of his popularity. Maybe Matt Giraud will be there, too. Maybe Allison or Anoop, who knows?

American Idol Update

Scott MacIntyre, the blind pianist, was sent home last night. He was definitely the weakest singer left. As I predicted, Lil Rounds joined him in the bottom three. As I did NOT predict, Anoop Desai was sent there, too. It should have been Kris Allen. How long can the fact that a person is attractive keep them in the competition? Isn't this a talent show??? (Of course not; it's all about marketing.)

When Scott sang for his life (sang for the judges so that they might allow him to stay with their single override), he did a better job than he did Tuesday night. For one thing, he didn't have that discordant electric guitar. The judges had a hard time coming to a decision. Finally, Simon sent him home. I'm glad they saved their override; what if Allison gets stuck at the bottom again?

American Idol: Top 8 Perform

Last night, the contestants chose songs that were out during the year they were born. All but one of them (Allison Iraheta, born in 1992) were born in the 1980s. Only one of them is older than my oldest kid - Danny Gokey, who's 29. (My oldest kid will be 28 this Friday.) This part of the competition always brings interesting and varied song choices. Last year it gave us one of the best songs performed in that competition: David Archuleta's performance of a song I'd never heard before, "You're The Voice" by Australian singer John Farnham. I downloaded it, and I still play it and love it. It also gave us David Cook's performance of Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean", which was also very good, and which I also downloaded.

This year was no exception. The song choices were varied, some of them were great, some of them not so much. Here goes:

Danny Gokey, born April 24, 1980: “ Stand By Me”, based on the Mickey Gilley version

This started out in a slow, syrupy style, which didn't suit him at all. He hit a few notes kind of poorly. But then the song went up-tempo and it fit his performance style and his voice a little better. Frankly, I still prefer the Ben E. King version. The judges basically liked it. Randy didn't like the arrangement, but he said Danny made him like it. Simon said overall, great.

Kris Allen, born June 21, 1985: “All She Wants To Do is Dance”, by Don Henley

I always liked this song; it's wonderful social commentary, a little political. Kris has that kind of shaky vibrato; he'll never be Don Henley. He had to clean up the lyrics a little. I'm going to quote the second verse, which he omitted:

Well the government bugged the men's room
In the local disco lounge
And all she wants to do is dance, dance

To keep the boys from sellin'
All the weapons they could scrounge
And all she wants to do is dance

But that don't keep the boys
From makin' a buck or two
And all she wants to do is dance, dance

They still can sell the army
All the drugs that they can do
And all she wants to do is
All she wants to do is dance
And make romance

I don't like his voice, and I didn't like this arrangement at all. He performed down in the mosh pit, surrounded by adoring girls. Kara didn’t like it. “Jazz funk homework,” she said. She thought it lost a lot of its youth. Paula said he's likable. Simon thought it was indulgent, boring, forgettable. He thought he came over as a guitarist who wanted to sing. Randy thought the arrangement was a little self-indulgent; he lost Kris in the arrangement.

Lil Rounds, born Oct 20, 1984: “What's Love Got to Do With It”, by Tina Turner

I thought this song would be a good choice for Lil. It's a powerful song, one I've always liked. But she tried too hard to be Tina Turner. She wore a short black skirt and silver high heels, and strutted around the stage in an imitation of Tina's walk. She wasn't always on pitch, but she showed a lot of passion when she sang, and there were some really nice parts. But once again, she didn't live up to what I think Lil can do. Paula complimented her outfit, which is always a bad start. She doesn't think Lil took it far enough; she used the dreaded K word (karaoke). Simon said "We're not looking for a second- or third-rate Tina Turner"; he labeled it "one of those ghastly copycat performances". Randy agreed with Paula and Simon. He didn't think Tina was the right choice for Lil. Kara uses the A word again (artist). She didn't think the song showed Lil's artistry.

Anoop Desai, born Dec 20, 1986: “True Colors”, by Cyndi Lauper

I loved this performance. He started out sitting on a stool, with just a guitar accompaniment, really a very nice touch. He wasn't perfect, but all in all it was a downloadable performance, definitely good. He gave it a gentle touch. Randy thought the way he pulled it back was good. Very nice, controlled vocal. Kara said he controlled the song, not the other way around. Paula liked it, too. Simon said he's like a yo-yo - some weeks he's great, others he's terrible. Simon doesn't think it was fantastic, but it was really good.

Scott MacIntyre, born June 22, 1985: “The Search is Over”, by Survivor

I never liked this song, and Scott didn't change my opinion. He started out standing on stage holding a guitar, which he wasn't playing. When he finally started playing it, the chords he used were jarring, kind of a raucous electric sound which didn't fit the song. I don't think it was a good choice for him. The crowd seemed to love him, though, as usual. Kara commended him for coming out with his guitar, but she didn't like his song choice. Some good moments, some off moments. Paula gave him credit, too; she was surprised by the guitar, and thought an acoustic one might be more fitting. She thought he screeched some of his high notes (he did). Simon suggested he go back to the piano next week. The song was horrible; the guitar playing wasn't much better. The two didn't go together, either. Randy thought it was all okay; it didn't show him as a star.

Allison Iraheta, born April 27, 1992: “I Can't Make You Love Me”, by Bonnie Raitt

I groaned when I heard her song choice. This song has been overdone on American Idol: Kimberly Locke, Constantine Maroulis (on whom I had a major crush) and Amy Krebs (whom I don't remember) have done it, according to Wikipedia (which, being what it is, already credits Allison Iraheta's version). But Allison pulled it off. She did a lovely job, very mature for a teenager. Her hair was styled in a conservative (comparatively) style; she wore a black dress that was cut oddly at the hem (short in front, long in back), but looked good. Her voice fit this song very well; every note was gorgeous. Paula said she made it her own. Simon thought it was very good. He thinks she needs to come out of herself more; he doesn't think he knows her. Randy says she reminds him of Kelly Clarkson. She needs to engage the public a bit more. I think he was referring to the fact that she's been in the bottom three twice now, even though she's so talented. I love her performing. I think she's a born star.

Matt Giraud, born May 11, 1985: “Part-Time Lovers”, by Stevie Wonder

He wore a fedora that made him look like a 1940s-era gangster. It looked kind of cool, actually. His arrangement was more bluesy than the original; it suited him. But I think he put in too much ornamentation, too many runs. Randy thought it was one of the best of the night vocally. Kara loved it, too. Paula gave him a standing O. Simon said “Well done.”

Adam Lambert, born January 29, 1982: “Mad World”, by Tears for Fears

He did a very subdued performance, based on that version by Gary Jules that was out a few years ago, simple piano for the first (shortened) verse. This is a song I can sing from memory, so I could tell every place he played with the lyrics. He chose to be lit by blue light throughout the song, which was pitched higher than the original, to suit Adam’s superior high voice. I loved it. I hope that he does the full-length version on the download; I’d get it. (Why not? I’ve already got two versions of the song on my iPod.) They were out of time by then, so Simon was the only judge to give his critique; he chose to give Adam a standing ovation. This is Simon we’re talking about here; he never gives standing Os. Adam is head and shoulders above the other performers in this series. It’s almost unfair to everybody else, having him in the competition.

Bottom three? Well, Scott MacIntyre should be there. He's past his expiration date on this show, and I'm pretty sure he'll be eliminated tonight. It's hard to figure out who will join him in the bottom 3, though. I'd put Kris Allen there, but he's got a huge fan base. Possibly Lil Rounds or Matt Giraud (he's been there before). But Matt was actually good enough tonight that I liked his performance. So I don't know. We'll see.

It's All Rod Stewart's Fault!

I was in the local CVS the other night picking up prescriptions. There was a Rod Stewart song on the Muzak, which I was tuning out because he's not a great favorite of mine. As I was walking out of the store, though, the chorus came through loud and clear:

"Leave Virginia alone,
Leave Virginia alone, she's not like you and me..."

My name is Virginia. I haven't had a date in five years.

Now I know why. It's all Rod Stewart's fault!

(Or maybe it's Tom Petty's fault. He wrote the song. But I'm a Tom Petty fan, so I don't want to blame him.)

I have a very small collection of songs in which my name appears. Up until this point, there were two: Billy Joel's "Only the Good Die Young", in which Virginia is a good Catholic girl he's trying to seduce, and Train's wonderful "Meet Virginia", in which she's a quirky and lovable and lonely person. I don't smoke, and I don't wear high heels, but hell, I'd like to have somebody sing this song about me.

I watched the video Rod Stewart made for this song, and I don't really get it. Why is she not like the rest of them? She might be moody and withdrawn (just like me!), but she seems to be functioning in the real world (also just like me!). This song came out in 1995, so I'm not sure how I missed it for so long.

American Idol Update: Finally!

We can all heave a great sigh of relief. Megan Joy is going home to her little girl. Simon wouldn't even let her sing for a chance of a reprieve. (She sang, but it was her swan song. I turned it off.)

With Megan in the bottom three were Allison Iraheta (as I predicted) and Anoop Desai (not Matt Giraud, oddly enough). I hope Allison does better next week. She's good enough to win this whole thing with the right song (and outfit) choice.

American Idol, Top 9 Compete

I never updated last week to say that Michael Sarver was eliminated. He made my bottom three, so I wasn't disappointed the way I was when Alexis Grace was voted off.

Last night the contestants were allowed to choose from popular downloads on iTunes - which must be limitless, given the range of songs that were chosen. Let's see...

Anoop Desai decided to sing Usher's "Caught Up," and he gave it a lot of energy. My only comment on this was "He's cute. But his pitch isn't true." The judges weren't terribly impressed. Randy didn't think it was the right song for him. Kara thought he was playing it safe. “I”m getting the feeling like, a bunch of frat guys, maybe, like, dared you to get up and sing Usher.” Paula thought the vocals sounded good, but he needed to work on his stage presence. Simon thought it was a complete and utter mess. Anoop came over as a wannabe. The arrangement was a mess; it gave him a headache.

Next on the program was the girl I love to hate, Megan Joy. She sang "Turn Your Lights Down Low," by Bob Marley. It was horrible, as usual. She made her voice all tight and pinched, and her pitch wasn't always true. Kara thought she was in trouble. It wasn't the right song choice for her. (Somebody in the audience said “Broken Record” because that's one of Kara's favorite criticisms.) She thought an Adele song might have worked better. That part of her register was even getting irritating for the first time. She thinks Megan should use her falsetto more. Paula wants to see Megan singing a sensitive ballad. Simon said the song was boring, indulgent and monotonous, and all the things they liked about her are disappearing. Randy said it was like watching paint dry. Maybe she'll FINALLY get voted off tonight.

Danny Gokey did "What Hurts the Most" by Rascal Flatts. I was prepared not to like this song (Country! Eww!) But I ended up liking it a lot. He oversang a little, but it had some really nice moments. Simon thought it was the best performance of the evening. Randy said tonight's show starts right here. Kara thought he moved everybody in the room emotionally. She had goosebumps.

My favorite teenager in this competition, Allison Iraheta, might be in trouble. She did "Don't Speak" by No Doubt, one of my favorite songs, and she really wasn't very good. She accompanied herself on guitar for part of the performance. She was dressed in a fuchsia dress with a kind of puffy skirt; it clashed with her puffy crimson (or whatever you want to call it) hair, which she had puffed up something like a spiky crewcut on top. So it was pink and puffy for Allison tonight. My main complaint is that she really couldn't handle the chorus of the song, which should wail out; she forced it and made it heavy. The judges had a lot to say about her outfit, too. Randy just didn't understand it. Simon said it was like something out of the Addams Family. They didn't really have much good to say about her singing, either.

Scott MacIntyre surprised me tonight. He did Billy Joel's "Just the Way You Are," a song I don't especially like, and he did it well. Of course his piano playing was good, but his vocals kept up with it for once. Every time I thought he was going to falter, he managed to keep on track. I think he made it his own. Kara thought he made some smart decisions, picking that song. Paula's very proud of him. Simon said it was his best performance by a country mile. “A different Scott – the Ryan Seacrest hair” (Scott had shorter hair, a little puffy on top). Randy agreed it was one of the best of the night.

Matt Giraud made the Bottom Three last week. I thought I'd throw that in here, since I never wrote it up. (Hey, I was sick.) He did "You Found Me," by The Fray, a band I basically like. He murdered it. I can't say one good thing about it. The judges didn't like it, either. Wrong song for him, he should do more R&B, etc. etc. He might be in trouble after that performance.

Lil Rounds did "I Surrender," by Celine Dion. I am NOT a Celine Dion fan; hearing her name will prejudice me against a song from the start. That may be why Lil's performance was such a disappointment to me. What happened to the Lil I liked so much? I thought it had pitch problems, and it didn't suit her style at all. Randy didn't like her song choice. He wants her to have a little more swagger. He thought she sang it really well, though. Kara liked it. Paula, not so much, she doesn't like the adult contemporary song. Simon thought she was singing to stay in the competition with a safe song. So old-fashioned, all of her personality is being sucked out of her.

Every week I look forward to whatever Adam Lambert is going to pull out of his hat, and he didn't disappoint me last night. He did "Play That Funky Music" by Wild Cherry, combing his hair back off his face again (a better look for him, I think). What can I say? He's Adam, he's awesome. Those high notes, the way he gets the crowd going. Over the top, as usual. Paula was up and dancing. She compared him to Mick Jagger and Steven Tyler. Simon thought it was brave, original, better than some of the other karaoke stuff. Randy thought it was going to be corny, but it wasn't. “You worked it out.” Kara liked it.

Kris Allen chose "Ain't No Sunshine" by Bill Withers, and he played the piano for it. (Usually he hides behind his guitar.) He actually did a pretty good job. He sounded better than he usually does. This is a song in which the entire second verse of the original is “I know, I know, I know” repeated ad nauseam. He got through that part well, cutting the number of times that phrase is heard. Randy said he was in the zone, one of the best performances of the evening. Kara said it was artistry (a word she overuses). Paula said was his best performance to date. Simon thought he did a very good arrangement, very clever, his best performance so far.

So there you have it. I think Matt Giraud and Megan Joy will be two of the bottom three, and Allison Iraheta might be joining them. We'll see.