Large and In Love?

So CBS has decided to feature a large-size couple in their new show "Mike and Molly". I wasn't sure where they were going to go with this. Is it going to be one massive fat joke, or will watching it be a healing experience, the way watching "Huge" was all summer? "Huge", on ABC Family, featured a group of large-size teens at fat camp, and was touching, funny, and remarkably liberating for me. The teens were allowed to be real kids, not merely fat jokes. It is one of the best shows I've ever watched, and I'm anxiously awaiting Season 2 (which may or may not happen).

Anyway, I taped "Mike and Molly" Monday night and watched it last night. The main characters are introduced as going about their lives trying to lose weight: Mike, a cop, is eating a plain unadorned hot dog while his partner chows down on an actual plate of food. Molly is on a treadmill of some sort (I don't know exercise machines; I'm sure this one has a name, but all I know is that she was walking on it), and her scrawny mother and skinny sister delight in eating chocolate cake in front of her. Okay. This all rings true. Some people can eat anything and stay thin. Some of us can walk for hours and stick to our diets and struggle to lose an ounce.

Then, Mike and Molly "meet cute" (as all the reviews have been sure to note) at an Overeaters Anonymous meeting. One of my friends met her husband at an OA meeting, so I was kind of tickled by this concept. Mike's cop partner Carl attends the meeting with him. Molly's thin but apparently drug-addled sister Victoria comes with her. Why? I have no idea. Mike's last name turns out to be Biggs. How much of a fat joke is that? I wish they'd chosen a better last name for him, something neutral, instead of something that lends itself to so many digs at his size. Anyway, the first irritating fat joke that I remember comes up when two large people are walking upstairs next to each other and meet somebody coming down. The two large people completely block the stairwell. Real life? One of the fat people would have moved behind the other. For the purposes of the TV show, though, they made them stand side by side. I could have done without that. It added nothing to the show.

Well, Mike is too shy to ask Molly out, even though she's clearly interested in him. Carl eggs him on without making any references to his or her size, which I liked. I would have probably gotten counseled by my mother: "You might as well go out with him. Who else will want to date you at your size?" (This frequent occurrence goes a long way towards explaining why I married the wrong man...) She invites him to speak to her fourth-grade students, which he does, with mixed results. At the next OA meeting, he works up his courage to ask her out, doing so while leaning on a table, which collapses at an inopportune moment. Another fat joke I could have done without - the Collapsing Furniture. Guess what? We fat people rarely break furniture. The last thing that should be done on a fat-positive show is to have a main character break furniture because of his size.

Anyway, Molly's house is robbed, and Mike finally asks her out while taking a police report. Sort of cute for a socially awkward guy no matter what his size.

I'm writing this the next day, and I'm not rewatching the show as I do it, so I know I missed things. My feeling at the end was that it could develop into something better as it goes along, but the pilot was not that good.

Dancing With The - What, Now?

I'm not a regular viewer of "Dancing with the Stars". So far, I seem to have only watched seasons in which Olympic skaters were dancing - the first season I watched had Apolo Anton Ohno (he won), the second Kristi Yamaguchi (she won, too), and the third Evan Lysacek (he didn't). I'll admit, I love to watch any ice skating event the Olympics has to offer. Evan's season was the most recent season. They had some questionable "stars" on then, too - Kate Gosselin?! "The Bachelor" Jake Pavelka?! Anyway, I had heard a few rumors about who might be on the show this season, and I'll admit I was a little curious.

Not curious enough to watch "Bachelor Pad", though, where the DWTS "stars" were announced last night. So I didn't find out who was actually going to be on the show until this morning. And now I know for sure that "Stars" should be replaced with "Z-Listers, Has-Beens, and the Truly Infamous."

Let's start with Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, from that train-wreck of a show "Jersey Shore". He thinks he's a star, but he's not - he's a sickening joke. I resent that they validated his inflated view of himself by asking him to be on this show. Harrumph. Truly Infamous.

Then there's Bristol Palin, most famous for having a baby out of wedlock. Being the daughter of a politician doesn't make her a star. She has no more right to be on that show than Kate Gosselin did. Somewhere between Z-Lister and Truly Infamous.

David Hasselhoff falls squarely into the "Has-Been" category. They should have asked his beautiful daughter, Hayley, who has been so entertaining in "Huge" this season.

Florence Henderson? Mom to the Brady Bunch? Has-Been. This season's Cloris Leachman. (oops, I must have watched another season if I remember Cloris - was there a skater on then?)

Michael Bolton?! Oh my effing Gawd! I used to love him in about 1990. Definitely a Has-Been.

There are the obligatory sports stars, who are completely unfamiliar to me. Rick Fox, a retired LA Laker, and Kurt Warner, "retired NFL quarterback" (which tells me nothing. He didn't play for the Patriots, so I never heard of him.)

Singer Brandy Norwood is going to be on. She's sort of a star, I guess. I used to love her on "Moesha" (a show my daughter loved back in the 90's).

I'm not sure who Audrina Patridge is, either. I never watched "The Hills", I'm happy to say.

I'll give Margaret Cho credit for being a current star. And maybe Jennifer Grey, who is at least still on TV. I never heard of Kyle Massey, but that's because he's on "That's So Raven", and I don't have any tweener daughters any more.

So am I going to watch this season? Oh, probably, at least at the beginning. I want to watch The Situation make a fool of himself.

Cape Cod vacation, part 5: Back Home

The last time I wrote, last Wednesday, I was uncertain about going to the beach. Well, I did end up going, and it was just as windy as it had been on Tuesday. But the tide was higher, and I decided to go swimming anyway. I had a great time in the water, jumping waves the way I used to when I was a kid. I took a picture of the seagulls sitting on the beach in front of the lifeguard's station, all facing into the wind. I thought it was funny to see a beach full of seagulls instead of sunbathers.

Thursday I met my sister and my niece at Dunbar Tea Room in Sandwich. We had tea and curried chicken salad. It had been raining, and the humidity was intense. We visited a "magical" gift shop, Lavender Moon, which was fun. My older son was on his way down to the Cape by then, so I returned home. It took him the same 3+ hours to get there as it had taken me the previous Saturday. Traffic. Grrr.

Once he arrived, we played Lexulous while we waited for my younger son, who was working until 9. We got sandwiches from the Box Office Cafe for supper. Finally, at around 10, we called my younger son, who grumpily said he had to work Friday morning. I wonder when he was planning to tell us...

Friday morning we had breakfast at (yes, again) the Box Office Cafe. It was very humid again, although not as windy as it had been. We decided we needed to go for a ride in an air-conditioned car, so we headed up to Orleans. We located the Old Jailhouse Tavern, a place my parents loved to go when my kids were small. I wasn't sure it was still there, but it was, although we had to resort to my son's GPS to find it. We decided to have lunch there. It wasn't very crowded, so I wasn't expecting it to be as good as I remembered. But I enjoyed it.

After that we visited Earth House, the aging-hippie Mecca that I love to go to. I took pictures of the minerals to show my daughter, who is getting married in March to another geologist - they plan to incorporate minerals into their centerpieces. I also bought a sodalite heart, which I added to the other odds and ends I carry in my pocketbook - snowflake obsidian in my wallet, because somebody told me once I'd never go broke if I carried it there; rose quartz, because it's supposed to attract love, even though by now it's pretty clear it isn't working; a cowrie shell just because a woman I didn't know gave it to me at a time when I really needed something to hold onto. Here's what sodalite is supposed to do:

Sodalite helps one to arrive at logical conclusions via a rational mental process by eliminating confusion and stimulating the intellect. It helps one to find a direction of purpose with lightness of heart. It provides for solidarity, fellowship, and commonality of good and purpose within a group. Sodalite encourages self-esteem and self-trust, as well as companionship and trust in others. It helps one to recognize and actualize one's true feelings.

(At least that's what I think it says on the paper that was with the more expensive heart I didn't buy. I took a picture of it, but it isn't in focus.)

Anyway, I could really use help with my rational mental process, confusion, etc., not to mention self-esteem and self-trust.

My younger son finally arrived at about 4:30. He and I promptly went to the beach; older son sat at home on the couch, being lazy. We had a great time in the water. The waves weren't as big as they'd been on the windiest days, but they were still a lot of fun to play in.

We ordered pizza from (guess where!) the Box Office Cafe for supper. Yum! A Usual Suspects and a Pineapple Express.

Saturday we had to be out of the rental by 10 a.m. We made it by 9:45. After I dropped off the keys at the realtor's, we drove past the Chatham lighthouse the way we do every year. We couldn't find a parking place, though. Was everybody looking for sharks? So we headed up towards Orleans, through Pleasant Bay. Lovely scenery. Oh, and of course the weather was perfect, on the day we had to leave. We visited Earth House again (younger son wanted to go, too) and this time I bought a shirt that I hadn't seen the day before.

We were in three cars, so we headed home. Since the Seafood Sam's in Harwich Port had closed, we decided to have lunch at the one in Sandwich. It turns out to be close to the Cape Cod Bay end of the Cape Cod Canal. Younger son had to dash off to work, but older son and I walked out to the end of the canal after lunch. I took a lot of pictures.

Anyway, I'm home now. I just wanted to wind up the blog.

Cape Cod vacation, part 4: Windy

Yesterday was a very windy day. When I finally went down to the beach in the middle of the afternoon, it was practically deserted, and I found out why as soon as I stepped out of my car. No, not the sharks which are offshore not too far from here. It was the sand. The wind was driving a fine mist of sand into everything in its path. A lot of the sand looked smooth, with all the footprints erased, from the relentlessness of the wind.

And the water was rough. Three-foot waves, which might not be much in other parts of the world, but are significant in Nantucket Sound. I stood on the shore for some time, letting the waves crash against my legs, but I finally decided not to go in. I felt like a sissy, but the fact is, I thought I might have trouble getting back out again because of my artificial left knee. If I hadn't been alone, I might have reconsidered. Other people were in the water, but obviously they were strangers to me (I don't actually know anybody down here).

It's windy again today, and very humid. I'm torn. I'd love to take a swim, but I don't know if I want to go to the beach. Last year I challenged myself to get into the water every day. I've already blown that for this year (I didn't submerge myself yesterday). But this year my only challenge was to make sure I got to the beach four times (enough to pay for the sticker), and I've already been there three times. I can drive down any time, and I might just do that.

Yesterday's outing was a trip down Route 28 to West Dennis and a discount Indian-style clothing place. I bought two sundresses, one of which I can wear to work. It's a purple print and has an actual top, not just straps. The second one has spaghetti straps and I couldn't wear it to work, but in color - green and periwinkle - it's a close match to my old favorite sundress that I bought at a place which has since gone out of business. I wore it yesterday afternoon and I felt great about it.

Today I made it down to Marion's Pie Shop for a cinnamon roll for breakfast. I ate half of it. Those things are huge! I stopped at the Box Office Cafe for a cup of Sumatran coffee to enjoy with it.

I went down to Harwich Port and got a bargain pedicure. I think I should have asked for the full version. It was kind of a disappointing experience; the pedicurist didn't say much, and she didn't clip my nails, which I think she should have.

Anyway, I might go to the beach this afternoon. Or maybe not. I don't know yet.

Cape Cod vacation, part 3: Perfect Beach Day

Today when I got up, it was actually a little chilly, in the 60s. I went down to Harwich Port to see if I could get a "dirt bomb" muffin from Bonatt's - it's similar to the doughnut muffins I sometimes make, a cinnamon-coated cakelike muffin. They were sold out already, though, so I got a morning glory muffin instead. Then I went to Perks for coffee. They had Sumatran, my favorite. I love vacation breakfasts!

I managed to forget to pack dishtowels this year. What a perfect excuse to go to the Mayflower in Chatham! I've barely been able to resist buying dishtowels there in the past. They carry designs that speak of Cape Cod - shells, hydrangeas, starfish, beach chairs. I bought a hand towel with shells and hydrangeas and a great dishtowel that says Sand and Ocean. Then I came home and did my dishes. Okay, it wasn't the first time I did them, but at least this time I didn't have to dry them with a paper towel.

I poked into a few other places in Chatham, which was crowded with people, but I didn't buy anything else. On the way back to Harwich I stopped at Marion's Pie Shop and bought a small blueberry pie. Yum!

This afternoon, I went to the beach. It was much better than yesterday's visit. I was able to park closer to the main part of the beach, and the spot I got on the sand was great. I walked on the beach a little bit and took a few pictures. I saw two little girls digging ditches in the sand; it reminded me of my sister and me at their ages. There was still a lot of seaweed, but the tide was higher and it was easy to find a path into the water. I stayed in for much longer today. Nantucket Sound is usually very warm, and today was no exception. In fact, the air felt shockingly cold when I got out. I sat on my beach chair and read for a long time. Nobody was smoking near me today! I'm not really a suntanner, and it's usually hard to keep me on the beach if I'm not in the water or walking, but today I stayed for a couple of hours.

I cooked a hamburger for supper tonight, and decided to toast the bun under the broiler. There's a toaster here, but it's just for bread; the bun was too puffy to go in. Anyway, I left it in for too long, and it scorched a little. No huge problem, right? Well, it wouldn't have been if the smoke alarm hadn't gone off... I yanked the battery. I'll have to put it back up before I go to bed tonight.

Cape Cod vacation, part 2: Settling in

I had my beach sticker by 8:30 this morning. This year, the short-term passes are kind of pink. Last year, they were red. I kept my old pass stuck on my rear bumper until last Friday. It made it easier to spot my car in parking lots. Besides, it reminded me of my vacation. By last Friday, it had faded to about the color of the new one.

After securing my beach sticker, I went to Bonatt's bakery in the center of Harwich Port and got a Meltaway. This pastry was a tradition when I was a kid, but like everything else, it's changed. Bonatt's used to be on the corner of Bank Street. I remember going down with my grandmother and walking from the parking lot to the store. We had to pass under the kitchen exhaust fan, which always blew out the most delicious-scented air, hot and sweet and cinnamony. Old Mrs. Bonatt always had free samples for us children, pieces of cookies or other goodies. I remember making jokes about doughnuts ("Bonatt's Do-natts") but I don't actually remember eating them. I used to love the bran muffins, though.

Anyway, I had a vague memory that there was something about them I didn't really like, but I couldn't remember what it was, which is why I'm writing it down here. They've got bits of some odd spice in them. There was a hand-written sign that mentioned cardamom, but to me it tasted like lavender blossoms. I don't remember that from either my childhood or back in the 80s when I brought my kids there.

The other odd hand-written sign was on the bran muffins. "New!" it said of my favorite flavor from the 1950s.

Later this morning I went shopping. I went to the Super Stop & Shop in East Harwich. It's laid out almost exactly like the one I shop at back home, which was disconcerting. I walked down an identical produce aisle and looked over to where the hot dogs should be, and it was the fish counter. My usual store doesn't have a fish counter. I plan to buy fish while I'm at the Cape, but I won't be getting it at the Stop & Shop!

I went to the beach in the middle of the day. Red River Beach has parking all along the stretch of sand. I had to drive almost to the end to find a parking place, but this part of the beach was almost deserted. It was full of green seaweed. I have no idea what the rest of the beach looked like, but there weren't a lot of people swimming that I could see, even though the water was warm. I found a spot where I could wade in without walking through too much seaweed, but I didn't stay in too long. I came back to the beach and sat down and read for awhile. I forgot my hat, though, and it was hard to see the words. When a group of people sat down near me and all lit up cigarettes, I decided it was time to go.

The sky was white in the middle of the day - high clouds or haze. I could see blue further inland, so I guess the haze was confined to the shore. It bleached the color out of everything after awhile (or maybe that was the lack of a hat). The rose hips I'd parked near weren't nearly as red when I got back to the car.

I went back into Harwich Port later this afternoon and bought some Garden Mint soap. I poked into a few shops, but didn't buy anything else.

Now it's late afternoon. The living room windows face west, so I have the blinds shut to keep the place cooler. I don't have any other plans today - just to relax and read. And why not? It's my vacation!

Cape Cod vacation, part 1: Traffic.

I'm down at the Cape for a week!

To me, "the Cape" refers to Cape Cod. I've often wondered how true that was in the rest of the country. Would somebody on the West Coast know what I meant when I said I was visiting the Cape? There are plenty of other capes - the Cape of Good Hope, Cape Hatteras, even Cape Ann, which is closer to where I live than Cape Cod. But this is the Cape.

It took me much longer than I thought it would to get here. I was foolish enough to wait to leave until 11:30, for one thing. I couldn't get into my rental until after 2, and I didn't want to hang around eagerly waiting for too long.

Ha, ha. I first hit traffic around Needham. All I could think was, I hope it's not backed up from the Sagamore Bridge, probably 50 miles ahead. And I guess it wasn't, not really. But it was stop and go well past Weymouth. After Route 3 narrowed to two lanes, it got better for awhile. I expected it to be backed up for the last 5 miles before the bridge, and it was. Argh.

So it was 3 before I got to Harwich Port. First, the bad news: our favorite fish restaurant, Seafood Sam's, is gone. Now, the good news: There's a new coffee shop in the center of town, Perks or Perk's (all I could think of was Central Perk on "Friends"). I got an iced coffee there, and it was delicious. And Reed Books is still there. Isn't that a great name for a bookstore? Last summer, the owner told me that a kid came up and told her she'd spelled "Read" wrong on the sign. I didn't visit it today, but I will at least once while I'm here, even though I've got a Nook now.

It turned out that I couldn't get a beach sticker after 3, so I have to wait until tomorrow. I didn't even try to go to the beach. Instead, I unpacked and read for awhile. Eventually I went down to the Box Office Cafe for dinner. At least they were still there!

I had a quiet evening. Eventually I decided to see if anybody in the neighborhood had an unsecured wifi, and what do you know? Somebody does! Nobody did last summer, but this year somebody's staying in the unit next door. Somebody who periodically goes out onto his back deck and smokes, and the smoke finds its way into my unit. Sigh. I kind of hope they're going home tomorrow, but if they do, and it's their network I'm using, I'll probably lose access. Then I'll be back to lugging the laptop around to places like the public library and the Box Office Cafe.

Tomorrow, I'll shop for groceries, get my beach sticker, and go swimming! I don't think the sharks have made their way into Nantucket Sound yet, although I saw in the paper yesterday that they've closed the beach in Chatham near the lighthouse.

I did it all for the Nook...

Last week I bought myself a Barnes & Noble Nook, their version of an electronic reader. [Aside: I'm not sure how to spell it; often on their website B&N refers to it in all caps, shouting out their pleasure in their new device - "NOOK!" Other times they whisper, "nook." I think they prefer the uncapitalized version, but I have a tendency to prefer to use the initial cap, so as not to confuse it with any other nooks I might have in the area, say, if I were eating a Thomas' English muffin...]

I decided months ago that I wanted to get either a Kindle or a Nook before I go to the Cape this summer (I'm leaving tomorrow! I'll blog about it again.) Amazon.com's Kindle is similar; as far as I can tell, having never handled a Kindle, the only major difference is that the Kindle has a keyboard at the bottom and the Nook has a touchpad. Also, at the time, the Nook was $40 cheaper. Of course, today I got an email from Amazon.com indicating that the Kindle is now $139, or $10 less than I paid for the Nook. Whatever. Once I had decided to get it, I could hop in the car and drive for 10 minutes to get to the nearest Barnes & Noble and be home less than an hour later with the new device in my hand, rather than waiting several days for Amazon.com to ship it to me. So the Nook won.

I think the name is a little cutesy, though. "Nook"? Really? It makes it all cozy, a place to curl up with a good book, which was probably at least part of the intention. It also lends itself to all sorts of risqué humor. "I'm going to bed now with my Nook." That could be my new pick-up line: "Hi, handsome, want to play with my Nook?" And there's the limp hit by Limp Bizkit that I paraphrased for the title, "I did it all for the nookie." I've got a Nook and I know how to use it...

The first book I bought for my new Nook was "Catching Fire", by Suzanne Collins. This is marketed as a young-adult book, the continuation of "The Hunger Games", which I had just finished the week before. I had been waiting until it came out in paperback, which it did at the beginning of this month. Getting the second volume on the Nook meant I didn't have to wait another year for it to come out in paperback. Plus, the third and I think final volume of this continuing story, "Mockingjay", comes out next month. As soon as I can download it, I'll buy it. This is a post-apocalyptic dystopian series, the sort of thing I love. I can't wait to find out how it ends. [another aside: I caught a quick glance of one of the girls at fat camp reading "The Hunger Games" on the second episode of "Huge".]

The plus side to reading a Nook instead of a book? When I put it down without a bookmark, the pages don't all riffle shut, making it difficult to find my place. When I open the Nook again, it comes up at the page where I left off.

The minus side? It's an appliance, not a book. The second book I read on the Nook was "The Girl who Kicked the Hornet's Nest" by Stieg Larsson, over 500 pages long. The battery died at some point when I was at work without the charger. (I was showing it to a friend. Me, read at work?) If I had the book, I wouldn't have to worry about batteries! Of course, it'd be in hardcover and difficult to hold and store, not to mention expensive. (Not as expensive as the Nook, but whatever.)

And that's another advantage to electronic readers: storage space. I read constantly, and I want to keep a lot of the books I read so that I can enjoy them again. All my bookcases are full, and I've stopped buying hardcovers because I just don't have room for them. Even larger-format paperbacks are difficult to store.

Theoretically, I can store 1500 books on my Nook. I believe that, should I go over that, I can move some books to a server on the Barnes & Noble website. They'd still be my books, just not on my Nook.

So I've got several new books for my vacation, and I didn't have to wait for them to come out in paperback before I could buy them! I've got the first volume of Robin Hobb's new Rain Wilds series, "Dragon Keeper." I loved her earlier Rain Wilds trilogy, and I can't wait to start reading it! I've got "The Forgotten Garden" by Kate Morton, and I've got "Garden Spells" by Sarah Addison Allen. Neither of these are gardening books; the first is a novel set in Australia, and the second is a magical story about two sisters, set in North Carolina. Plus I downloaded a few free classics, including "Sense and Sensibility" by Jane Austen (to go with "Pride and Prejudice", which was on the Nook when I got it). All of these stored on a machine about the size of a slim paperback, and plenty of space for more.

I'm a huge "Huge" fan...

When I was sitting at work today, words just flowed through my head. Good words, exciting words, thoughts I wanted to write down. But I had a lot of work to do, and I knew I couldn't take a break and write a blog entry. I'll do it tonight, I promised myself.

Now I can't get that flow of words started. Doesn't that figure.

It had to do with the new ABC Family show, "Huge", which is set in a fat camp. The stars are fat teenagers - beautiful, talented, smart teenagers who would only show up in more typical teen fare for comic effect. On "Huge", they're allowed to be themselves. I love it.

For one thing, it's telling my story. I was a fat child, a fat teenager, and now I'm a fat adult. When I was 17, my parents made me go to fat camp. My parents and my grandparents could never see the smart and talented girl I really was - when they looked at me, all they could see was the fat. I had a lot of musical talent. I often wonder what I might have become if they had sent me to a music camp instead. At least I might have believed in myself more than I do.

Will (for Willamina), the main character, has parents just like mine. They made her go to fat camp. In the second episode, she tries to write a letter home to them. I copied out the text, because I could have written it myself:

Dear Mom and Dad,

A crazy thing happened today. I, your daughter, played basketball. And I liked it. And I actually scored. But you’re never going to know that. I can’t tell you what’s good about this place, because you’ll just pat yourselves on the back, like, “Didn’t I tell you she’d love camp?” And you’d feel totally justified for making me come here. And it’s not that simple.

I can’t forget that you sent me here, that I’m not good enough for you. You tell me all the time, when you comment on how my shirts don’t fit, or exchange little looks when I reach for dessert. I try not to care. But it hurts. It hurts. And I’ll never say that to you either.

At that point, she tears the letter up. I wouldn't have mailed it, either.

The show is full of moments like that, scenes I recognize from my own childhood, from my own time at fat camp. Take Amber, for example; she's the beautiful blonde girl who really isn't fat at all. We had a tall beautiful blonde girl, too. She was striking. Once she borrowed a dress of mine; on me, it went down to my knee, but on her it came to the middle of her thigh. She walked down the main street of Hyannis and practically stopped traffic. All the men couldn't keep their eyes off her, she looked that good. I never looked that good in that dress.

We didn't have boys at our camp. They were at a separate camp a short distance away, and none of them were as old as I was. So I missed out on the whole social aspect, which I think would have been good for me. I would have loved to meet a guy like Ian, and Alistair always makes me laugh. I like Dante, too. I'm the mother of two gorgeous fat sons, both in their 20s now, and it would be great if they could learn that girls (women, I guess, now that they're grown up) can love them the way they are. I tell them that, but they're like, "Oh, Mom, of course you'd say that, you're my mom." Neither of them dates. They should. Any girl would be lucky to have one of them. Yeah, I know, I'm their mom, of course I'd say that. But it's true.

One of my favorite characters in "Huge" is Becca. She started out quiet and had trouble speaking up for herself. But she's really coming into her own. In this week's episode, she danced in the talent show while Dante rapped "Baby's Got Back." It was supposed to be totally improvised (they were filling in for Trent and Chloe, who were making out backstage). It was great.

There's the drill sergeant, Shay (Shea?), who I'm sure is supposed to resemble Jillian Michaels from "The Biggest Loser". She's brutal. In this week's episode, it bothered her that the food at camp tasted good. She didn't think it could possible help the campers lose weight. The unspoken message was that only food that tastes bad can be good for you. Uh huh, I've heard that one before.

I hope I'll be able to write down more thoughts on "Huge". Right now, I'm going to go do something else.

Why all the Bad Grammar in Popular Music?

I've had Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance" stuck in my head for days. I was thinking this morning, when I turned off the radio on "Need You Now", that I'd much rather have Lady Gaga stuck in my head than Lady Antebellum...

Anyway, when I sing "Bad Romance", I discovered that I automatically was correcting some bad grammar. "I want your loving and I want your revenge, you and I could write a bad romance." Of course, that's not what Lady Gaga sings. She sings "You and me could write a bad romance." My mother (a former English teacher) wouldn't let me get away with that. "Would you say 'Me went to the store'?" she'd query me if I said something like "Jane and me went to the store." I learned.

But, for some reason, popular songs are full of the kind of grammar people wouldn't use in everyday speech. Why?

Years ago, when I was single again after over 20 years of marriage, I heard a song on the radio. "I don't wanna be no man's woman," Sinead O'Connor wailed. Hmm, I thought, neither do I. I'd much rather be some man's woman. Well, that wasn't what she meant at all. "I only wanna be my own woman," she sang later in the song. Well, if that's what she meant, why didn't she say so earlier?

Double negatives have been a part of popular music for generations, growing (as rock and roll did) out of the blues. I was looking for a suitable blues quote, and happened across Bessie Smith, "Downhearted Blues", recorded in 1923:

"I ain't never loved but three men in my life
No, I ain't never loved but three men in my life
'T'was my father, brother and the man who wrecked my life."

Does anybody say "ain't" any more? When I was a kid, we used to joke "'Ain't' ain't in the dictionary!" Back then it wasn't. Now it is. And for some reason, it shows up all the time in popular music. Take the chorus of Train's current hit song, "Hey, Soul Sister", for example:

"Hey soul sister, ain't that Mr. Mister on the radio, stereo, the way you move ain't fair, you know!"

I wonder if Patrick Monahan would use "ain't" in everyday speech. I'm willing to bet he wouldn't. And I like this guy; he wrote a song about somebody with my old-fashioned first name, Virginia, and made her sexy and desirable.

Anyway, I'm sure I could go on and on. But I won't.

American Idol: The End

This will be the last season I blog American Idol. There is no reason to continue to watch the show. It's not a talent contest. The object is to find a commercial success, somebody squeaky-clean and marketable. And let's face it, as I frequently note, American Idol is marketed to the teens and tweeners, mostly girls. They would pick a handsome male who can barely carry a tune over a multitalented female every day.

Which is exactly what happened last night. Again. A repeat performance of last year, where the candidate who shone most brightly throughout the entire season ended up in second place. The only reason I can find for this is that Crystal, the dreadlocked, pierced, tattooed single mom, just wasn't as marketable as Lee, the short-haired reasonably well-groomed paint salesman whose first single will be a disaster unless they Auto-Tune it to death. Probably even then.

I am deeply disappointed in the show, in its voting audience, and in the judges for shamelessly pimping Lee. I can guarantee that I will buy Crystal's record when it comes out - and second-place candidates always seem to get recording contracts, too. Look at Clay Aiken. His records outsell Ruben Studdard's, I'm pretty sure. And Adam Lambert has a successful single right now. To be fair, I'm pretty sure Kris Allen does, too, but which one of them got to mentor this year's contestants?

Anyway, I'll continue to blog (not that it matters - nobody reads this anyway), but it won't be about American Idol.

AI9: Finals

May is drawing to a close, and after a lackluster season, so is American Idol, Season 9. Simon Cowell judged his last contestants last night. I wonder if the show can go on without him. It won't be the same, that's for sure. After this season, that can only be an improvement - right?

Last night, one person clearly showed herself to be the winner. One person just showed up. And now it's not a question of talent - Crystal Bowersox clearly has the most talent of any contestant this season - it's a question of whose fan base voted the most often last night. If I sound a little downhearted, it's because I am. The results should be clear. But they aren't, and that's disappointing.

Each contestant sang three songs last night. One was their favorite song of the past season. One was chosen for them by the executive producer of the show, Simon Fuller. And the last one was the song the winner will release as their first single. I was fully expecting another composed-for-American-Idol song, and was hoping it would be closer to Season 7's "The Time of my Life" than to last season's clunker, "No Boundaries". I guess they learned their lesson last year, though; each contestant was allowed to cover an existing song. More on that later.

The contestants flipped a coin (a large one, with a picture of Crystal on one side and I assume Lee on the other) to see who would go first. Crystal won the toss, and she chose to go second. She's a smart woman, Crystal – wanted to be in the “pimp spot”.

Lee DeWyze chose “The Boxer” as his favorite of the songs he performed this season. Interesting – I read in the Boston Globe that Paul Simon (the song's composer) performed it at the Brandeis commencement, where he was getting an honorary degree. I figured today's audience was made aware of the song by Lee's performance of it earlier in the season. He did a very laid-back version, so slow that some of the passion of the song was gone. I noticed he left out the verse about the whores on Seventh Avenue... Anyway, it was a kind of lukewarm performance; he really should have given the song more energy and focus and a lot more emotion. Randy told him he needed to pick it up a little, get some more energy going. Ellen booed Randy (one gentle “boo”) and said to Lee “I couldn't be prouder if I'd birthed you myself.” She thought he did it better than he had the first time. Kara agreed with Randy, though. Simon said he would expect a lot more passion and excitement. “That was a kiss on the cheek when I want a kiss on the lips – not from you,” he added quickly.,“but you know what I'm saying. It's got to be a bit more than that.”

Crystal Bowersox sang “Me and Bobby McGee”, an excellent choice, since this was one of her best-received songs of the season. She started out with just her acoustic guitar. She had her microphone stand from home (with the glass lamp chimney on it). This song suits Crystal's style so well; it was definitely the performance choice of a winner. She sounded awesome. Randy thought it was “dope.” Ellen thought Crystal was so compelling on stage. Stunning. Kara loved it. “You have fire in your belly tonight. Go for it.” Simon said it brought him back to the time when they absolutely fell in love with her. “We've got a competition tonight. That was terrific.”

Round 1, in my opinion, goes to Crystal.

Round 2 was Simon Fuller's choices for the finalists. Lee DeWyze was given “Everybody Hurts” by REM. This should have been an excellent song choice for him; it would fit perfectly with Lee's strengths. Unfortunately, the large intervals at the beginning served to emphasize his pitch problems, and he never really recovered from that. Randy thought it was definitely better, although he commented about it being a little “pitchy” at the beginning. Ellen thought he went off a couple of times. She thought he really got into it a couple of times, but then he pulled back again. Kara said that what makes him great as a performer is that he was emotionally accessible. “It wasn't a perfect vocal, but I love that about you.” Simon thought it was a brilliant choice of song for him. He pointed out that Lee went off key at parts. Simon understands that Lee is nervous, but he has to give it all for his last performance because he's capable of it.

Crystal Bowersox was given “Black Velvet” by Alannah Miles. This is a bluesy, sexy song about Elvis, and Crystal executed it perfectly. She walked down the stairs (in heels! I couldn't have done it.) and leaned out to touch a few audience members' hands, all without missing a note. The way her voice dropped to a whisper when she sang "it happened so soon..." Wow. She blew me away. Randy said “MamaSox is in it to win it! That was hot!” Ellen thought it was fantastic. She gave her a standing O. Kara said tonight was the night for Crystal to excel, and that's what she did. Simon had problems with the song choice because so many people have “absolutely murdered it” in auditions, but “you took that song and you absolutely nailed it. I'm very impressed.”

Round 2 clearly goes to Crystal.

Now for round 3. Lee DeWyze performed the song he will release as a single if he wins. I was surprised to find out that it wasn't some agonizing ballad composed especially for American Idol; instead it was “Beautiful Day” by U2. Damn, I love this song, and I was a little afraid of what Lee might do to it. He didn't exactly murder it, but he didn't give U2 any serious competition, either. A few pitch problems, and his voice cracked a few times, but all in all he did the song justice. It was clear to me that he was more connected with this song than he had been to the first two. There were some lovely moments. Randy said it started weak, but by the middle it was the Lee that he loved. Ellen asked him how he felt. He said he felt good. She said he was fully present for this song. That's a positive change for Lee. Kara said he got swallowed up by the song. There were good moments and bad moments. But he deserved to be here. Simon said “This is what this competition was designed for.” - giving poor people (who just a few weeks ago were selling paint in a hardware store) a break. He's worked hard and remained a genuinely nice person throughout.

Crystal Bowersox performed the song she will release as a single if (when)she wins. “Up to the Mountain” by one of my favorites, Patty Griffin, her tribute to Martin Luther King Jr. It's a kind of folksy song, with a lot of soul, slow. Crystal sounded gorgeous. It was just her and her guitar (and the back-up singers). Just beautiful. Very moving. There were a few moments when Crystal appeared to be near tears. Her heart poured out of her with every note. Randy said “Culminating our 9th season on this show...This is what this show is about, an amazing song by an amazing singer. And I”m telling you what, I'm so proud of you, man. This is one of the greatest performances and one of your best moments at the perfect time on this show. That was incredible. Incredible.” Ellen said that she couldn't compare her to any contemporary artist. “You are in a league of your own...You have a beautiful voice...so clear and it just pulls you in, and if you're making an album I'm going to buy it, if you go on tour, I go on tour and watch you, if you're making a salad, I'll eat it...” Kara said “This was a very important song for you tonight.” She was completely emotionally invested in that song. “Amazing.” Crystal thanked Simon before he spoke. When he finally got his chance, he said “I thought that was by far the best performance and the song of the night.” His final critique: “That was outstanding.”

Round 3 goes to Crystal.

I managed to get in ten votes (at least) for Crystal. So did my son. But our twenty or so will be a drop in the bucket of the at least 60 million votes that are sure to have been cast last night. I can only hope that her clearly superior talent manages to pull in all the people who haven't voted yet this season. Tonight is my handbell night, and while I'll tape the show, I probably won't be able to sit through the entire thing before I find out what happened. I just remember two years ago, the War of the Davids, when I was watching the tape after my handbell rehearsal and when Ryan Seacrest finally announced the winner, it went like this:

"Ladies and gentlemen...David and David...the winner...by twelve million votes...of American Idol...2008...is...David..."

And the TiVo cut out.

It was priceless. Fortunately, I found out who really won within seconds by searching for somebody's live blog.

Tonight, I want to see Crystal Bowersox crowned the next American Idol. She's my American Idol in any case. Good luck, Crystal!

AI9: Too Nervous to Watch

I taped the American Idol results show last night, as I do every Wednesday. I'm usually out at a handbell choir rehearsal, but it was canceled last night and I was home, so I tuned in - and knew immediately that I couldn't stand the tension of waiting until the very end to find out if insanity would prevail and my favorite - MY next American Idol, Crystal Bowersox - would somehow not make it through. So we watched something else until after 10. Then I fast-forwarded through the show and saw Casey James sitting on the stage singing "Daughters", clutching a little girl who looked enough like him to be his daughter. (Maybe she was, but I was guessing she was more apt to be his niece.)

So my favorite, Crystal Bowersox, goes to the finals with the judges' favorite, Lee DeWyze, or David Cook Lite, as I think of him. I'm so relieved that Crystal's still here; I just got a little sick of the judges' pimping of Lee this week. Crystal will have to be on her A game next week to carry through, if they continue to stack the deck against her.

AI9: Top 3 Perform

Last night on American Idol, each of the three remaining singers performed two songs: one of their own choice, and one that the judges chose for them. It was a disappointing evening overall. For one thing, there's a subtle difference between choosing a song you enjoy performing and choosing a song that will show you off as a clear front-runner. All of the candidates chose songs they enjoyed performing, which weakened this round considerably.

I'm not sure who set up the performing order, but it served as an indicator of what the judges expect the end results to be. Casey James performed first, which indicated to me that they expect him to wind up in third place. He chose "OK, It's Alright with Me" by Eric Hutchinson, a song that was unfamiliar to most of the audience, including me. I'd never even heard of Eric Hutchinson, which is a trifle embarrassing because it turns out he went to Emerson College here in Boston and got his start here. Okay, I don't follow the local music scene very closely. Anyway, not only was this song unfamiliar, it was lightweight, and it didn't show off Casey's weak voice particularly well. It had a kind of bluesy feel, and I can see why he likes it, but he wasn't always on key (something which drives me nuts - I don't know why the judges don't criticize him about it any more), and the performance never caught fire. Randy said “Listen, the funny thing about that lyric is that song was kind of just all right with me, too.” He wanted to hear more from Casey, something different, unique, interesting. He shouldn't have done such a safe, easy song at this point. Ellen babbled for awhile, but finally said she wished he'd really brought it. Kara thought he should have picked a more familiar song. Simon said it was the most important night of his life, and he compared the first song to the salad; it will leave no lasting effect on the audience. A “dud” song choice, Simon said, but he sounded good. Off-key is "good" these days?!

Crystal Bowersox performed next, which indicated to me that the judges expect her to finish second. She chose Melissa Etheridge's "Come to my Window" - one of my favorite songs, and the one I always thought I'd perform if I got to audition for American Idol (you know, when they do the Senior version, where all their contestants are at least 55...). I was expecting to be blown away by her performance. It was a perfect song choice for her, one that ought to have shown off all her best qualities. But I was disappointed. She started out with a brief harmonica and acoustic guitar introduction, then sang half the first verse and headed for the "just to reach you" part. I know they have to shorten these songs for the live performances, but the jump was disconcerting to me. I kept waiting for Crystal to come to life, to pour her heart and soul into the lyrics and let it all out. I don't know if it was the harmonica rig dangling in front of her mouth or what, but her voice didn't sound quite as full and resonant as it usually does. I still want Crystal to win, and the performance she gave wasn't the performance I know she could have given.

The judges weren't blown away by it, either. Randy "didn't love" the arrangement, but what he did like was Crystal's vocal on it. It all worked in the end. Ellen thought it was a great song choice. Kara agreed that Crystal was a little lost in the arrangement; acoustically, it would have been a little stronger. Simon agreed; this wasn't the most stunning version of the song. Simon liked that she still hasn't compromised herself as an artist. A very honest performance, and she probably made the right choice. “Congratulations.”

Performing third was the judges' front-runner, Lee DeWyze. He chose "Simple Man" by Lynyrd Skynyrd, and he accompanied himself on acoustic guitar. He did very well, too, which bothers me, because I still want Crystal to win. The song suited his voice and style. It still wasn't as great as it could have been, but clearly the best of the first three. Randy said it was a brilliant song choice; he sounded amazing, and he's feeling he could win it. He's ready. Ellen said he took this seriously. Kara said that what he did tonight was what every contestant needs to do. “In my opinion, Round 1 goes to Lee.” (she's right, too, as much as I hate to admit it.) Simon asked him why he chose it. Lee said when he plays it, he's really happy to be playing it. “When I have a song I can get into like that, it's totally different than me picking a song that I couldn't.” He could have picked a more current song, but he wouldn't have connected to it the way he did to that song. Simon thought his song choice was "absolutely on the money."

Now for the judges' choices. I'm not sure how they picked which judge chose for which contestant, but I doubt it's a coincidence that Simon picked for Lee DeWyze...

Anyway, first up was Casey James, and Kara and Randy chose John Mayer's "Daughters" for him. This is a slow, tender ballad ("Fathers, be good to your daughters..."), and was clearly chosen to make Casey show off his vulnerability. They bathed him in magenta light while he sang it. I didn't think he sounded all that good. The slow and tender vibe was good for him, but his pitch control wavered so badly that it put me off. He had a guitar solo, which was good. Randy thought the song choice fit him like a glove. Ellen liked it, too. Kara thought it showed the more artistic side of him, where he's vulnerable. She thought he did a good job. Simon thought it was a better song choice than the first one. It was a bit of a lazy arrangement, though. He held Randy and Kara responsible for not giving him a bigger vocal moment. Simon didn't think the song had the “Wow” factor. He's got a point.

Ellen chose the song for Crystal Bowersox. I'm uncomfortable with the fact that the least musical of the judges got to choose for my favorite singer in the competition. But her song choice, "Maybe I'm Amazed" by Paul McCartney, worked out brilliantly. Crystal blew it away; she sang from the heart, she sang with all her voice. She went from passionate screaming to gentle sighs; it was amazing. Randy said “Great song, great vocals, and we've got somebody else in it to win it!” Ellen (whose eyes appeared damp) said “I couldn't have asked for more.” Kara thought she showed parts of her voice we hadn't heard until tonight. Crystal didn't use an instrument, which Kara thought was a choice that paid off. Simon thought she proved she had soul. She worked outside of her comfort zone, and she might be thanking Ellen next week for putting her in the final.

I winced when I found out Simon had chosen Leonard Cohen's overdone "Hallelujah" for Lee DeWyze. Didn't Jason Castro give this song its Idol moment a couple of years ago? But Lee rose to the occasion, and gave quite a good performance. It started out with just his acoustic guitar for accompaniment, but by the end, there was a brass band and a gospel choir, so it had turned into quite a production. Randy said he's been waiting all season for this. His biggest moment on this show. Lee has tears in his eyes. Ellen thought it was stunning. Kara said he's what this show is all about. He owned the entire night. Simon said he was very proud of Lee.

What burns me the most about last night's performances is that Lee DeWyze was put into the position of front-runner, one that still belongs to Crystal Bowersox as far as I'm concerned. Lee is David Cook/Chris Daughtry Lite. It's been done before. Crystal is like no other Idol winner so far. She's warmer, bluesier, and her voice is unique. She deserves to win. Lee has made a strong showing, but he shouldn't dislodge Crystal from the top.

Casey James should be eliminated tonight, and next week, we should be seeing Crystal Bowersox and Lee DeWyze going head to head. Not the ending I had envisioned. This has been a disappointing season overall; a win from Crystal could save it.

AI9: Bye Bye, Big Mike

Yeah, I'm disappointed. First of all, look at the top three American Idol contestants ("artists"?!). Two of them have trouble carrying a tune. Is that pathetic or what?

Second of all, Michael Lynche has the voice and the charisma and the stage presence to be a star. I'm glad they had fourth-place-finisher Chris Daughtry on last night, to show Big Mike how far somebody can go after being axed by American Idol.

So we go to the finals with a very cute and talented guitarist who can sort of sing (that'd be Casey James), a deer-in-the-headlights on stage, gruff-voiced paint salesman who hasn't sung through a song yet without flatting at least one note (that'd be Lee DeWyze), and one genuine American Idol contender (that'd be Crystal Bowersox). Say it with me, now! BOW-ER-SOX! BOW-ER-SOX!

AI9: Top 4 Perform

It was Movie Night last night on American Idol. Jamie Foxx mentored the singers. Last year he was the mentor on Rat Pack Standards Night, which was the equivalent of last week's Sinatra Night but not limited to Sinatra. No matter. Jamie Foxx is a great mentor for Movie Week, since he has an Oscar for playing Ray Charles (giving him movie cred) and several Grammy awards. Of course, when I think of him musically now, I think of that Auto-Tuned piece he did with T-Pain on the Grammy Awards this year, "Blame It". To me, Auto-Tune is for people who can't actually carry a tune. Taylor Swift could have benefited from it on the same Grammy show...

But I digress. Jamie Foxx had brought along two T-shirts: one said CONTESTANT and the other said ARTIST. I didn't write down exactly what he said, but it was along the lines of a CONTESTANT merely being carried along week to week, not really striving, while an ARTIST was more focused on the music and how they were performing. The goal was to be an ARTIST. (Kara has kind of sucked the life out of this word throughout her tenure on AI.)

There was a list of 34 movie-related songs on iTunes (you can find it here), but the contestants/artists were allowed to choose others if they wanted. Most of them stuck to the List.

Lee DeWyze performed Seal's "Kiss from a Rose" (from Batman Forever, 1994). This is a difficult piece of music; there are large interval jumps and modulations, and I wasn't sure if Lee could handle it. His pitch control has been an ongoing problem. I remember Chris Sligh doing it as an audition piece during Season 6. Chris had a lot of personality issues, but he was a good singer, and he pulled it off. If anybody else has done this on American Idol, Wikipedia doesn't mention it.

Lee did better than I thought he would, though. In his mentoring session, Jamie gave him the ARTIST T-shirt. Lee stayed fairly close to the correct pitch, and I enjoyed listening to it. He was enthusiastic and focused, and I thought the judges would be praising him to the skies. They didn't. Randy thought Lee did nothing with the song. It was okay, "pitchy" in spots. He thought Lee should have chosen a rock song. Ellen thought he could have done more with it, but she loved it. Kara commented on how difficult the song is; she thought he got lost a little and was out of tune in spots, but he was still great. Simon thought Lee could have found a song and made it original for him. It was verging on karaoke, trying too hard to sound like the original. In Simon's opinion, Lee should have gotten the CONTESTANT T-shirt.

Michael Lynche deviated from the List; he sang a Michael Jackson song, "Will You Be There" (from Free Willy, 1991). After their mentoring session, Jamie offered him the CONTESTANT T-shirt because he forgot the lyrics. Michael refused to take it, saying he'd be back for the ARTIST one later. The song has a gospel feel to it, and Big Mike was backed up by a small gospel choir. I liked it, although I wasn't blown away by it. It suited his style, and gospel-style music always has a feel-good aspect to it. Randy thought Michael should have chosen something R&B instead of this gospely song. Ellen liked the gospel choir behind him, but she thought it was a little bit predictable. Kara wanted goosebumps, but she didn't feel that from him. She thought he played it safe. Simon had trouble relating it to a whale called Willy. Simon made a willy joke; why am I note surprised? He said that Michael gave it 100%, and he (Simon) felt like he (Big Mike) meant it.

The crowning glory of the evening was the next performance, a duet between Lee DeWyze and Crystal Bowersox. They did "Falling Slowly" by Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová from their 2007 movie Once; the song won an Oscar in 2008. This was a welcome deviation from the List. They started out with their acoustic guitars as the only accompaniment. I remember the original song as being kind of delicate and wispy. Crystal and Lee put a lot more heart and excitement into it. They worked well together, and I think Crystal helped keep Lee on key. I loved this performance and will be downloading it. Randy loved it. “It could be a hit right now.” Ellen said they were like the new Captain and Tennille. Kara said it was one of her favorite moments of the entire season. She liked the interaction; they brought out the best in each other. Simon called it a fantastic song.

Afterwards, when they were talking with Ryan, Crystal said that Lee is her musical crush. She told Lee that in Chicago when they were both auditioning. She was sitting next to him.

It was a long way down to the next performance, Casey James doing "Mrs. Robinson" by Simon and Garfunkel (from The Graduate, 1967). I find this song irritating because of the rhyming syllables used in the verses: "And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson/Jesus loves you more than you will know/Whoa, whoa, whoa." And so on. Jamie gave Casey an ARTIST T-shirt after the mentoring session, I'm not sure why, but I think it was because they're both from Texas. Casey chose to accompany himself on the mandolin, and he slowed it down. They had him performing down in the Swaybot Pit. He sounded okay - no goat bleats, usually on key. It's just not much of a song. Randy pointedly asked him why he chose that song. Casey kind of laughed and said “A lot of things,” at which point everybody looked at Kara. Older woman, younger man. Oh, yeah. Ellen commented that she wished they'd have given him a big-boy guitar. (Somebody said "That's what a regular guitar looks like on Mike.") She liked it, and she's turning the commentary over to Mrs. Robinson. Er, Kara. A flustered Kara thought it was a good choice. (Of course she would.) Simon didn't think the song or performance had the substance required on this important night for Casey. He thought it was a little bit lazy, and he could have made more of an impact. Strange song choice.

Crystal Bowersox decided to do "I'm Alright" by Kenny Loggins (from Caddyshack, 1980). I saw the movie once and I don't remember the song at all, so I have no idea if she changed it up. Of course Jamie gave her an ARTIST T-shirt. She sounded good, of course. Randy thinks she's definitely an artist, and she tried to switch it up and make it interesting and fit her. Ellen said the performance just got Crystallized. She took that song and made it better. Kara agreed with Ellen and Randy. Simon thought after that performance she's back in the game. In my opinion she was never out of it.

The last performance was a duet from Casey James and Michael Lynche. Now what movie duets are available for two men? Yeah, I couldn't think of any, either. They did Bryan Adams' "Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman" (from Don Juan DeMarco, 1995). (Aside: the aforementioned Chris Sligh did this one during Hollywood Week back in Season 6.) Casey started with a Spanish riff on the guitar, then he took the first verse. When Big Mike came in, the song quality improved immensely. I couldn't feel any connection between the two guys; they were just two random performers sharing a stage. When they harmonized, Casey took the higher notes, and he was a little flat. Once again, Casey's guitar playing was better than his singing. Randy loved Casey's guitar work, and he thought the duet was really good.. Ellen said, “Well, as a matter of fact, yes, I have loved a woman.” Everybody cracked up. That was her entire commentary. Kara thought the duets were incredible, better than all of the solo performances. Simon said “Really good. Well done.” They were running out of time by then, so the commentary was short, but I was left wondering if they'd heard the same performance I had.

Crystal Bowersox and Lee DeWyze are safe. That duet alone should give them enough pull to get through to the Top 3. I give the third-place position (as I have since the beginning of the season) to Big Mike Lynche. Casey James should be going home tonight. It's going to be all about the fan base again this week, though. My son and I voted for Crystal and Big Mike again.

AI9: It's all about the fan base

Not a talent show...it's just a popularity contest. That being said, American Idol voters FINALLY eliminated Aaron Kelly, who I felt should have gone last week at the very latest. Singers like Aaron stump me; why didn't he wait a few more years to audition, until he was more seasoned and mature? He could have walked away with the whole thing.

It also intrigues me that there were more audience members shrieking for Casey James (who should have bleated his way home last night, baa, baa, baa...) than there were screaming for Aaron. Casey appeals to us cougars (smirk), so we "older" women must have had a greater presence in the audience - and in the voting public - than teenyboppers. In any case, he wasn't apparently in the Bottom 2, although who knows? Ryan could have been manipulating us again. He put Michael Lynche in the Bottom 2 with Aaron.

Crystal Bowersox obviously still has a huge fan base, including me. I want her to win, not Lee DeWyze, who is off-key so often. (Harry Connick, Jr., criticized Randy's use of the non-word "pitchy". He used words like "sharp" and "flat" where I settle for the more general "off-key".)

Lady Gaga was fun to watch last night. Watching her is a kind of guilty pleasure for me. I think she's very talented, and I wish she'd come out from under those veils and elaborate costumes once in awhile. Not all the time - I love her costumes.

I cracked up when the Top 5 did a medley of Sinatra songs starting out with 17-year-old Aaron Kelly singing "When I was seventeen, it was a very good year..." He just turned seventeen! I hope he continues to have a good year! That same medley included Crystal Bowersox singing "The Lady is a Tramp" - which makes me wonder if, way back when it was written, it meant something else, not a woman of ill repute. When I was a kid (my dad loved Big Band music, and I grew up with it) I thought it meant something like the lady liked to bum around the country like a hobo.

Anyway, our Top 4 are all deserving candidates, even though my personal pick for the foursome went home last week (our Cape Cod girl, Siobhan Magnus). Lee DeWyze continues to improve, and Crystal Bowersox continues to excel. Michael Lynche is just such a nice guy with such a rich, velvety voice. And Casey James - hell, he can bleat all he wants, as long as he plays guitar and looks so eye-catching with his blond hair and blue eyes and sexy smile.

Next week is Movie Week. Jamie Foxx will be the mentor. I remember him doing it before. I know he's a talented singer. It should be better than this week was.

AI9: Top 5 Perform

It was Frank Sinatra night last night on American Idol. I was not looking forward to it. What I like best about American Idol is when they give us new looks at today's music. When they do these big-band nights, getting the young singers to perform in that outdated style is like trying to jam square pegs into round holes with a sledgehammer. But apparently Simon is a huge Frank Sinatra fan, and we have to put up with these excursions into the deep, dark past. Frank's two daughters, Nancy and Tina, were in attendance last night and presented Simon with one of their father's monogrammed handkerchiefs. He seemed genuinely touched.

Harry Connick, Jr., was this week's mentor. I basically admire him, although I'm not a huge fan of his music. He put a lot of hard work into mentoring, doing arrangements of the old standards for each of the singers and accompanying most of them on the piano. When Ryan introduced him at the beginning of the show, he let Harry give the traditional opening line: "THIS - is American Idol!"

Aaron Kelly opened the show with “Fly Me to the Moon.” Big Band meets Teeny Bopper! His voice really isn't big enough for this song, although he gave it his best effort and managed to sound like a talented student at a high-school variety show (which is, in my opinion, where he ought to be singing). Randy thought he did a really good job. Ellen thought he really pulled it off. Kara thought it was good, but it wasn't as strong as last week. Simon said that if Sinatra was a lion, then Aaron was a mouse. He didn't think Aaron sang with conviction, and the performance came off as a little corny.

Handsome Casey James sang "Blue Skies." Unfortunately, he sang it very badly. From the opening notes - which were way off-key - to the last sustained notes, which sounded for all the world like a sheep bleating, he was painful to listen to. This sort of music is definitely not in Casey's comfort zone. Harry gave him a very bluesy arrangement, and made some comment during the mentoring session about how sometimes it wasn't about the lyrics, sometimes it was about the groove. Well, the groove never quite got there. Randy thought it was his worst performance. Pitchy, out of his element. Ellen said that it was about being cool and having swagger, and Casey was very stiff. Kara said it took him a long time to warm up. She commented on his bleating tone when he holds long notes. Simon thought he came over as a bit embarrassed and awkward. Last week, Casey was in the Bottom 2 with one of his best performances. After this poor showing, I'm convinced he'll be the one who goes home tonight.

Crystal Bowersox chose “Summer Wind” for personal reasons, which she didn't divulge. She wore a floor-length black lace strapless dress and piled her hair on top of her head; she looked like a nightclub singer, which suited the song. She did a creditable job, although it wasn't her strongest performance. Randy commented that it was one of her more subdued performances; it was okay but a little sleepy for him. Ellen thought she started out by swallowing every word, but then she opened up a little. Kara said it was out of her element, but she kind of liked it. She liked her phrasing. Simon thought it was a little bit indulgent; the first half was too jazzy, but the second half got better. It's not about singing for yourself any more, he said. I know what he meant; she chose the song for herself, not because it would show off her talent, and that may have been a mistake at this stage of the competition. Crystal is still my favorite of this year's singers, and I still want her to win.

I was counting on Michael Lynche to show everybody else how Sinatra songs ought to be sung, and he didn't let me down. He was superb. He chose “The Way You Look Tonight.” This song has been performed by so many different people, and I was wondering if even Big Mike could bring something new to it. But he was in his element. His voice is well suited to big-band style. Randy said it was an unbelievable arrangement, unbelievable vocal, Mike's in it to win it, this is what it's all about! Ellen thought he was the most comfortable on stage. He looked the part, sounded the part, very smooth, a lot of charisma. Kara said he found the drama, he did everything right, and he didn't lose himself in the song. Simon loved that Mike listened and everybody worked together on the arrangement. Mike was clearly the star of the evening for me.

Lee DeWyze sang “That's Life”. Before the mentoring session, Harry remarked that his wife really likes Lee. He figured out that Lee looks like a "new,improved" version of himself. For this arrangement, Harry played a small organ (it sounded kind of rinky-dink; I wasn't sure it fit). All I can say about Lee is that if he could stay on key, he'd be really, really good. His false notes really bother me, though. I can't figure out why the judges don't notice them. Randy thought it was another great arrangement. He thought Lee stayed his rocker self for it. (I didn't see it.) Ellen said “At first I was distracted by Harry's organ.” But she loved it. Kara asked him if he thinks he can win. She thinks he can. Simon thought Harry brought out Lee's personality and confidence. The judges heaped the praise onto Lee; it seemed that he was their personal favorite tonight. Sorry, Lee, Mike outsang you by a mile. I'm sick to death of the judges pimping Lee all the time.

Tonight's top performance, as I just said, was by Michael Lynche. Lee DeWyze gave a good (if slightly off-key) performance, and I'd rate him above Crystal Bowersox for it. The song showed off what he can do more than her "indulgent" choice did. But Crystal is still solid, and still my personal front-runner.

Casey James gave the worst performance and should be going home tonight. I'll miss him, but by now, he's out of his element. Aaron Kelly should join him in the Bottom Two, but I expect Aaron will stay. If they do a Bottom Three, they might be joined by Crystal, which is hard to accept. My son and I both voted for Crystal and Mike last night. By now, it's just which singer has the largest fan base.

AI9: Wrong Person Eliminated

Okay, that could be the heading many, many weeks during the season. But for me, any person except Aaron Kelly getting eliminated would have been the Wrong Person. The fact that the axe fell on our Cape Cod girl, Siobhan Magnus, is just WRONG. Not altogether surprising, actually; too many people just didn't "get" Siobhan - her unique style, her outlandish fashions (remember the butterflies?), her shrieking high notes. But I admire her, and I hope we'll hear more from her.

It's just more evidence of who really controls the voting on this show. It's a popularity contest, not a talent contest, and the teen and tweener girls do most of the voting. So of course an under-talented, undersized, underage but undeniably cute male runt with a minor talent will stay in the competition longer than an extremely talented but slightly bizarre young woman. I wouldn't have voted for Siobhan this week, so I couldn't have saved her. My one vote (or even if I'd managed to vote several times) probably wouldn't have offset the tweeners, anyway.

But it never occurred to me she'd be sent packing. She wasn't the worst performer of the week. Dumb me. See "popularity contest" above.

Anyway, the Bottom Three were my top three, and the Top Three were my bottom three. It gets worse: next week is Frank Sinatra week, and the mentor will be Harry Connick, Jr. Siobhan would have been wonderful doing Frank Sinatra. Aaron will most likely suck. Sigh.

AI9: Top 6 Perform

It was Shania Twain Night last night on American Idol. I hope that's as close as they come to Country Week this year. I can tolerate Shania Twain - in fact, I like a lot of her songs. And she was a great guest judge during the tryouts. She signed Crystal Bowersox's guitar after her audition. She's got a lot of energy and a lot of talent.

Lee DeWyze started off with "You're Still the One." I recognized the song - I wasn't aware it was by Shania. Anyway, he blew the first note. Fortunately, he recovered, and gave a decent performance overall. He seemed a little more comfortable on stage, although he still looked like a deer in the headlights after he performed. Randy thought he did a pretty good job with it. Ellen thought it was better than pretty good. “All aboard the Shania Twain!” Kara drew attention to his smiles. Simon thought it was the perfect song for Lee.

Michael Lynche chose “It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing.” He sang beautifully; you really believed he felt what he was singing. Shania, in the audience, looked entranced, and later she admitted she had a tear in her eye while he was singing. He used his beautiful falsetto at the end. Randy thought Mike has found his zone on the show – the balladeer, R&B singer. Very good. Ellen thought he sounded like Luther Vandross. Kara thought he was connected to what he sang. Simon thought the performance was a little bit "wet." When asked to define what he meant by "wet" he said "The opposite of dry." He clarified it by saying it was a little bit “girly” for him. Kara and Randy pointed out that it was written by a girl. (Shania, meanwhile, was hooting from her position right behind Simon.)

Casey James sang “Don't.” I had to go back and listen to this one again. When he started singing, I thought he sounded amazing, but in the chorus, he got kind of choked and nasal. But all the judges loved it, so I went back to listen again, and I got caught up in it. He played a simple accompaniment on acoustic guitar. An excellent song choice for him; he seemed very comfortable with it. Randy thought it was one of his best performances ever. Ellen thought this sort of song is really where he belongs. She thought it was his best performance to date. Kara thought he showed it all – the good, the bad and the ugly. He didn't hide behind his guitar-playing. Simon thought last week was a much-needed wake-up call. This was probably his best performance so far. The song felt like it was his own.

Crystal Bowersox, in a conversation with Ryan before she performed, said Shania "glows." She chose “No One Needs to Know.” She said the song was a message to her boyfriend. The lyrics, in part: “I want the bells to ring, a choir to sing/ The white dress, the guests, the cake, the whole darn thing/ But no one needs to know right now.” It was a lightweight song, cute, bouncy, very country. Crystal used a much lighter voice than usual, and it wasn't always pleasant. Not her best performance, but even a weak Crystal performance is stronger than most of her competitors' offerings. Randy said it wasn't his favorite performance, but he liked the country version she did. Ellen said there's nothing Crystal can't do. It wasn't her favorite performance, either. Kara thought it was believable. It wasn't her favorite, either. Simon thought it was limp. He didn't feel any conviction from Crystal, and he thought the song was forgettable (he apologized to Shania). Crystal said “bigger isn't always better.”

Aaron Kelly did “You've Got a Way.” Shania thought the song suited him. I thought it might be a little bit too much for him. It's a love ballad, and I thought something lighter might have suited him better. There were some nice moments, though. Randy thought Aaron was their country artist on the show this year. Ellen thought he showed a lot of emotion and depth. Kara agreed with Ellen. Simon thought he really got it tonight. It sounded like his own song. Aaron raised a few eyebrows by saying he was singing it to his mother. (He changed a line about making love to something else.)

Siobhan Magnus chose one of Shania's comical songs, “Any Man of Mine.” I thought it suited her. She strutted all over the stage and into the audience. She did a major dramatic ending, with her signature high note. There were weak moments, but generally it was awesome. Randy loved it. He loved her look, and the big notes. Ellen said, “Way to pull the Shania Twain into the station.” Kara said, “Guess who's back?” Simon really, really liked it. He thought the song was perfect. Wasn't sure about the last note. “It was almost like you were giving birth up there at the end.” But it was fun, it was good.

This is one week when top honors won't go to Crystal Bowersox. I'm inclined to make my Top Three Casey James, Michael Lynche, and Siobhan Magnus. That being said, I can't imagine Crystal ever placing in the Bottom Three. Aaron Kelly will almost certainly be there, and I'm not sure about Lee DeWyze. We're down to the Top 6, and five of those performers (all but Aaron) really deserve to be there.

Here's the way I think the eliminations will go down in the next few weeks:

Aaron Kelly should go home tonight.
Lee DeWyze should go home next week. I know some people have put him in the Top Two. I don't see it. He has brilliant moments, but his pitch control is shaky, and he just doesn't have the confidence in himself.
Casey James should place fourth.
Michael Lynche should place third.
Siobhan Magnus should place second.
And Crystal Bowersox should be the next American Idol.

Frankly, positions 2 through 5 could be in any order. It doesn't matter, as long as Crystal wins.

AI9: No More Urban Blight!

It took over two hours of "Idol Gives Back" to get to the meat of the evening: would they finally eliminate somebody who deserved to go? Or would the tweeners have voted through another annoying and untalented singer while somebody with talent was sent home? When Casey James was the first one named to the Bottom 3, I wasn't so sure. True, his performance Tuesday night was uninspired and barely musical, but when he's good, he's really good, something you can't say about either Aaron Kelly or Tim Urban. Those two contestants, fortunately, made up the rest of the Bottom 3.

But Ryan had to stretch it out as long as possible. He sent Aaron (AARON?!) back to safety, leaving Casey and Tim as the Bottom 2. Was he faking us out, the way he did last week when he left Michael Lynche there even though he wasn't a Bottom 2 vote-getter? He didn't say, but I wouldn't be surprised. For when the axe fell (or maybe it was just Ryan's hand), it landed on Tim. I cheered.

So now, for the Top 6, we have five people with talent plus a high-school student who would probably deserve to be here if he'd auditioned maybe three years later. With the Blight gone, the competition should be more of a joy to watch.

AI9: Top 7 Perform

Last night was Inspirational Song Night on American Idol. As I mentioned last week, I was not looking forward to this category. Yesterday I found further reason to dread it when I happened across the list of 77 songs that the Idol contestants were allowed to choose from. Nothing original there, just a collection of schlock and dreck. Sigh. I noted that the song David Cook did during Season 7, "Innocent" by Our Lady Peace, did not make the list. Another deep sigh.

Alicia Keys was the mentor of the week. I respect Alicia Keys; she's a classically-trained pianist with a gorgeous voice, and she brings that classical background to her songs. I wish she could have mentored on a week with better music choices.

And there was very little that was worth hearing last night. Limiting the song choices was not a very good idea, in my opinion.

Casey James led off the evening with an uninspired performance of "Don't Stop" by Fleetwood Mac. He started off on the wrong note, and although he recovered quickly, that set the tone of the whole song for me. His guitar work was good. (After the performance, he told us he was playing Lindsay Buckingham's guitar. Lindsay Buckingham is the one person above all others that I wish I could sing with. I always joke that Stevie Nicks got my life...) His singing? Not so much. Randy thought it was a good performance, but not his best. He'd like something a little more special, something different. Ellen thought his guitar playing was great. But other than that, he wasn't great. Kara said he made himself like everybody else. Simon didn't find his song choice inspiring; zero emotion, no originality. A lazy song choice. I agree.

Lee DeWyze chose "The Boxer" by Simon & Garfunkel. I was surprised this song (which was popular when I was in high school) was on the list, although I guess it can be considered inspiring. He accompanied himself on acoustic guitar, with a piano and orchestra. It was slower in spirit than the original, although I don't think it was actually that much slower in tempo. I felt the beat in 4 rather than in 8, which made it seem more stately, but also detracted from the emotional impact of the original song, at least for me. Lee sang it fairly well, though. Randy thought Lee's a great artist who will have a big career. Ellen thought the song choice was beautiful. His best performance by far. Kara thinks he had his moment tonight, and it shows clearly the difference when somebody feels connected to the song they're performing. Simon thought it was the best performance of the night (out of 2), the song was sincere, it was emotional, inspirational; he made the song sound as if it were written a week ago.

Urban Blight Alert! Tim Urban, who is way past his expiration date on this show, tortured "Better Days" by the Goo Goo Dolls. I didn't recognize this song from the title, but it's the one with the line "Tonight's the night the world begins again." I've always liked the Goo Goo Dolls, and the first time I heard this song it moved me to tears. It wouldn't have last night, though, unless they were tears of pain. As usual, Tim was way off key in spots, and he did nothing original with it. The judges didn't like it much, either. Randy thought it was an “interesting” choice, but it was kind of okay karaoke for him; Tim didn't do anything with it. Ellen compared it to the soup of the day; sometimes she likes it and sometimes she doesn't, and last night she didn't. Kara didn't think he did it very well. Simon thought he has improved over the weeks, but it was a little bit of a letdown.

Little Aaron Kelly chose "I Believe I Can Fly," by R. Kelly - no relation, right? Aaron gave an adequate performance, but I don't think he brought anything new to it. Randy thought he picked a giant song, and the arrangement was a little strange for him, but he thought he did a good job. Ellen believes he can fly. Real good. Kara thought watching it was like taking off. Simon said if he'd heard that song on the radio, he'd have turned it off within 10 seconds. It wasn't very good. Aaron shared with us that the first time he sang that song, he was at a preschool graduation (he was 5).

Our Cape Cod girl, Siobhan Magnus, gave a kind of overemotional performance of "When You Believe", which they said was performed by Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston, although I'm guessing not at the same time. Siobhan was wearing a dress with sculptured butterflies on it (Simon thought they were leaves). She used a wide vibrato that I found distracting, too operatic, but she hit every note, and when she got to the highest note, she just let it float out beautifully. All in all I liked her performance. The judges weren't so sure. Randy thought she picked the toughest song of the night, but it was just okay for him. Ellen disagreed; it was just more confirmation why she was here. Kara thought it was technically well done, but a little too dramatic and she still doesn't know who Siobhan is. Simon thought the arrangement was very old-fashioned, it was a bit all over the place.

Michael Lynche chose "Hero", which was listed as being by "Chad Kroeger featuring Josey Scott". I had no idea who these people were, so I looked them up on Wikipedia, where I was a little embarrassed to learn that Chad Kroeger is the frontman for Nickelback. Josey Scott is from Saliva. At least I recognized the song as being the Spider-Man theme. In any case, I didn't like Big Mike's performance, and as I've mentioned, I'm a huge Big Mike fan usually. I played it again, and I still didn't like it. It was kind of all the same; I couldn't get the story he was trying to tell. There was very little vocal range to it, so Mike couldn't show off his high notes. Kind of a wasted performance. Randy was a little worried about this song for him, but he thought Mike held his own with it and it worked out. Ellen thought he did a great job. Kara apologized; it wasn't her favorite performance; she didn't think his voice was right for it. Simon thought he sang it pretty well. “That was about Spider-Man, wasn't it?” It felt a little bit artificial to him. But he thinks Mike will still be around next week.

So far there had been six lackluster performances. But they'd saved the best for last. Crystal Bowersox sang "People Get Ready" by the Impressions, and she blew everybody away. It was a perfect song choice for her, with its gospel feel. She sang the first verse a cappella, and when the orchestra came in, she was right on key. It was clear the message of the song was affecting her, and her voice broke on the last few words, “Thank the Lord” and she ended up in tears. Very, very moving. Randy gave her a standing O. Ellen thought she had never looked more beautiful, and she keeps getting better and better. Simon thought it was inspirational. He was happy to see her emotional, and everybody felt the song meant a lot to her. She said she broke up because her dad was here.

Best performance of the evening? Really, the only good performance of the evening was Crystal's.

Two of the Bottom Three positions should go to Tim Urban and Aaron Kelly. I have a sinking feeling that the third should probably go to Michael Lynche.

Intelligent Conversation

Obviously, this has nothing to do with American Idol!

I long for intelligent conversation. I have, ever since I hit adolescence. Oh, not all the time - we need time to laugh and gossip and talk about silly things, too. But if I could look forward to some intelligent conversation from time to time - once a week might be enough - I'd feel a lot more complete.

Polite chitchat drives me nuts. I joined an online depression group, hoping for the kind of stimulating and intelligent conversation I used to get twelve years ago on another group (it's still there; the intelligence, however, disappeared long ago). All I found was the daily sign-ins, which are the height of superficiality. You say good morning, they offer you fake cups of coffee or tea. I post about my issues in other parts of the forum, but the responses I get are superficial and flaky. Remember cyberhugs? (((((((you))))))). Sigh.

So this morning I Googled "intelligent conversation" to see what would come up.

First? A column from onlinedatingmagazine.com, called "The Dying Art of Intelligent Conversation." It had received one response.

Second? A business - a consulting service. I didn't stick around long enough to find out what they were selling.

The third was an item on a 43things.com list, "have an intelligent conversation". I once had my own list on that website. I lost interest because I'm perfectly able to create my own list of goals offline.

Fourth was an article from 1998 about finding intelligent conversation online. Back then, I was finding it.

Fifth was a quiz from OKCupid. I did the quiz, but it wanted me to join to find out my results. How intelligent is that?

And so it went. I didn't look too closely at "How to Have an Intelligent Conversation with a True American" because the phrase "true American" puts me off. It sounds too right-wing. One of the videos that showed up was "Britney Spears Drunk" - clearly the opposite of intelligent conversation. Really, what was I expecting?

It would have been nice to find a forum that said "come here for intelligent conversation." I could post an issue I was struggling with, and people would respond intelligently. Oh, well, I suppose it wouldn't be the Internet, then...

AI9: Two Weak Singers Eliminated

I was relieved to find out that the two singers who were eliminated from American Idol last night at least were two of the weakest competitors. Andrew Garcia, who made Elvis spin in his grave with his performance of "Hound Dog" Tuesday night, was the first to be cut. I don't think anybody was too surprised by that, although Lee DeWyze, Andrew's best friend at the competition, looked stunned. I liked Andrew, but his singing just wasn't that great.

Ryan nastily left Katie Stevens and Michael Lynche standing on the stage together, waiting for the axe to fall. Nastily because he said that one of the two of them wasn't even in the bottom 3. Obviously, it was Big Mike, because Katie was sent home. Crystal Bowersox and Siobhan Magnus looked stricken. I can sympathize with them; now they're the only two women left in a competition where strong women were eliminated and weak men were retained. Too many tweener girls voting. All they care about is how "cute" a contestant is.

Ideally, we'd have a Top 7 that included Didi Benami and Lilly Scott and didn't include Tim Urban or Aaron Kelly. But - and I hate this expression! - it is what it is. We'll see what next week brings. "Inspirational" songs is the category, in honor of Idol Gives Back. I hate the thought of "inspirational" songs, expecting schlock like "The Wind Beneath My Wings" or "God Bless the USA." But in the past it's been some really interesting stuff, like Jason Castro doing that Hawaiian version of "Over the Rainbow" and David Cook doing one of the best pieces I ever downloaded, "Innocent" by Our Lady Peace. So who knows what next week will bring?

AI9: Top 9 Redux

Since Michael Lynche got the Judges' Save last week, there were still 9 competitors this week. Two will be eliminated tonight.

Last night was Elvis night, and the mentor was last season's second-place winner, Adam Lambert. Interesting choice - since he wasn't technically the winner of last season, even though he was so far ahead of everybody else in talent and creativity that he clearly should have won. Maybe they'll bring Kris Allen (the "winner") to mentor at a later date. But I doubt it. Adam had his hair puffed up in an imitation of Elvis' pompadour, sort of. I think he was a good choice for this week, since his style is as flamboyant as Elvis' was.

Great line to take out of context: Ryan was talking to Adam about his current hit, "Whataya Want From Me" (that seems to be the correct spelling; I suppose "What do you" doesn't convey the correct mood...). Anyway, he was talking about a part at the end of the video where Adam sticks his tongue out. I haven't seen the video, so I'm not sure what they're talking about, but Adam told him he needed to stick his tongue out at this point, and Ryan said "My tongue is not nearly as talented as yours." Awkward pause, while the audience (and all of us at home) tittered.

They led off with Crystal Bowersox last night, instead of saving the best for last. She performed "Saved", a gospel song I'd never heard before. Adam talked her into using an electric guitar, and the one she selected was beautifully spangled. The song was upbeat and bluesy, perfect for Crystal; it included lyrics like "I used to smoke, I used to drink...I used to lie, cheat and steal from people's feet". She was weaker than usual on the "big bass drum" line. ("I'm in that soul saving army beating on that big bass drum.") But she's Crystal, and she did a wonderful job. I'm planning to download it. Randy loved it. Ellen loved it. Kara loved it. Simon said he could relate to the lyrics. He commended her for being original and “you didn't fall into the karaoke trap.” Ryan described her guitar as “bedazzled.”

Then they followed her up with the worst performance of the evening. Well, Crystal's a hard act to follow, but Andrew Garcia would have been terrible even if he had followed Tim Urban Blight. He attempted to sing "Hound Dog" and he was so far from musical it was appalling. In the mentoring session, Adam told Andrew he was boring, and he needed to change up the song a little. Did Andrew do anything about it? Nope. He did it slow and, yes, boring. And he sounded a little like a hound dog, howling off-key, painfully. He tried to give it a bluesy feeling, but didn't really work for me. Randy said it was not good karaoke. He didn't like it, he didn't get it at all. Ellen wished he'd put more swagger into it. She thought he pulled it off, though. Kara said “It's Elvis, you've gotta own it.” She wanted to feel more from that performance. Simon thought it was lazy, unpredictable, and it didn't feel like a star performance. He didn't get it, either. I predict Andrew will go home tonight.

Then they pulled out the creepy Tim Urban; I suppose putting him after Andrew would be expected to make him sound better. He chose the slow and syrupy "I Can't Help Falling in Love With You." During the mentoring session, Adam encouraged him to do the end in falsetto. He accompanied himself on the acoustic guitar, and the accompaniment was lovely. His voice, however, wasn't, especially on the lower notes, which is I'm sure why Adam wanted him to end on the high notes... unfortunately, he dropped back down for the last “falling in love with you” which sounded lame and weak. Randy said he actually liked it. Ellen somehow compared Tim's music to shots of tequila. She thought it was beautiful. Kara said it was her favorite Tim performance yet. Simon said he'd gone from zero to hero in two weeks. Sigh. We are never going to get rid of this creep.

Lee DeWyze gave his best performance of the season on "A Little Less Conversation." This song really rocks, and it was perfect for Lee, who showed off his gravely voice to perfection while accompanying himself on acoustic guitar. During their mentoring session, Adam said there was nothing going on in Lee's face. He needed to smile and connect a little more. Well, it worked. Lee was the most alive and animated and comfortable on the stage he has been all season. Randy said he was “in the zone, dude.” Very good. Ellen said he made it so current. He was more confident, engaged with the audience more. Kara thought he really went for it vocally. She wished he'd been a little more playful. Simon asked her “When you say playful, I mean, what do you want, kittens?” Kara said she wanted him to be a little looser on the stage. “You're not going to skip around the stage,” Simon retorted. Simon said he nailed the song, “full stop.”

Little Aaron Kelly decided to do "Blue Suede Shoes." Adam told him to growl a little more, and I thought he nailed it. He was surprisingly good, walking around the stage and into the audience, much more connected with them than he has been so far. He seemed more relaxed, and I thought he was enjoying himself. Part way into the song, he did a half-time (slowed down) section. Randy liked the second half better than the first. Ellen thought he did a good job, but maybe didn't get all the way there. Kara said “you're out of your comfort zone, and I like it.” It felt more current and young for him. Simon wasn't all that thrilled; he thought it was very karaoke, and he didn't think it made Aaron sound young at all. Hmpf. I thought he did well.

Siobhan Magnus is a true Elvis fan. She even did a report on him when she was in the sixth grade. She appreciates that he came from nothing - born into poverty - and succeeded on just his talent and nerve. She sang “Suspicious Minds.” In their mentoring session, Adam thought it needed more fire. There was no fire for the first half of the song; she was very subdued. But halfway through, she switched into her powerful voice, and the song finally came to life. Randy kind of liked the whole “Supremes-ish intro”, but the slower part at the end was where it all came alive for him. “That girl can sing right there.” Ellen also liked the second half better. Kara is confused because Siobhan has two voices – the quieter one she used at the beginning of the song, and the powerful one for the second half. Simon thought she'd lost who she was. Siobhan responded, “Even I can't pinpoint who or what I am, and I've always kind of taken pride in that, I'm not just one kind of singer, ...and if I can't even label myself, I don't think it's necessary to be labeled, I just love to sing.”

Michael Lynche chose "In the Ghetto", a song Siobhan apparently suggested for him. Adam said he believed in Michael. I'm glad to hear it. This is an Elvis song that I actually remember (i.e., it was out in the 60s), and I wasn't sure Michael had captured it. I'm pulling for Big Mike, and I want him to excel on stage so that he doesn't end up getting in the Bottom 3 again. The judges liked him this week, though. Michael Lynche: “In the Ghetto”. Adam believes in Michael. I'm not sure this is the right song for Big Mike. As usual, he's singing on key, but this song just isn't the kind the audience will connect with. Randy thought it was a little sleepy, “but those were hot vocals.” Ellen's glad they saved him. Kara thought it was a beautiful song and he sang it well. Simon thought it was a “million billion” times better than last week, a terrific choice of song. (They were running out of time, and all their comments were brief.)

Somebody was holding up a sign that said “Norton, MA! Big Mike” Cool! (I grew up in a neighboring city, and my sister currently lives in Norton.)

Katie Stevens sang "Baby What Do You Want Me to Do" - a song she chose because of her frustration with what the judges have been telling her. Adam worked with her to get her to convey her anger and frustration in her performance. I thought she looked good - royal blue tunic over leather pants, some chains. She could have given a little more, though, although at least she was closer to being on key than she has been in the past. Randy thought it was entertaining. Ellen called it a “horny” song – a lot of horns in it. She thought it was great. Kara said “you showed us judges!” Simon found it loud and a bit annoying. He didn't like the song very much.

Casey James did "Lawdy Miss Clawdy." They put him on a tiny stage in the middle of where the swaybots lurk. He was cute, as usual, and his guitar work was awesome. But I didn't think his singing was up to his usual standards. Randy said another solid performance. Ellen didn't think it was as exciting as she'd like to have seen, but it was still good. Kara thought it fell short of what he was capable of. Simon thought it was a wasted opportunity with a song that was completely forgettable. But his vocal was good.

Best performance last night was Crystal Bowersox as usual. Lee DeWyze deserves a lot of credit, too. I'll probably download both of these.

Andrew Garcia was the worst by far. He should certainly be going home. I'm not sure who else will share the honor, though. My son and I both voted for Big Mike, and I hope the rest of his fan base responded, too, so with any luck, it won't be him. I still want Tim Urban gone.